The Dual Personality Malfunction
by Ayame2004
Summary: "I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. Then you would know that no matter who you are you will always be my Sheldon." Sheldon pretends and Penny sees through him. Tragedy strikes before she can make him see himself as she does. T for now. Rating will likely turn M later.
1. Chapter 1

**So I thought I would take my first stab at a TBBT fanfic. Some of the events in this story are taken from personal experience so the emotions will likely be high when I write from Penny's POV. So here goes nothing and I don't own anything TBBT related and will deny anything in court. Here goes nothing.**

SPOV

For years I have prided myself on my ability to separate the mundane existence of my fellow inhabitants from my overwhelming need to prove theories beyond the reach of any mere mortal. I do not, and I emphasize this, do not think of myself as a god or a higher being placed on earth to change the world one small day at a time. I like to make people believe that I think that way as it helps with my ability to separate.

However, I do know that my heightened intelligence alone, not counting my strange quirks that alienate people, would be enough to make me an outsider for the rest of my life. And that idea is fine with me. So much so that I was hesitant to even offer the second bedroom of my apartment out for rent. Who could I possibly find that would be able to handle the way I parade myself for others? I suppose that's why the tests were so ridiculous. However, Leonard blew past my expectations and turned out to be a suitable roommate and friend. He had his flaws- but compared to myself who am I to complain?

Life with Leonard as my roommate and our new acquaintances, Howard and Rajesh, was moving along nicely. They thought that my inane way of life was ridiculous but still found that they catered to it at every chance and I felt that they, given the right amount of effort, could become more than a nod in my head but a burned imprint of the people who could be accepting of a person regardless of how hard they try to push out the outside world. Leonard even made it through the safety drills without painting "die Sheldon die" on the wall in his room. I should give him more credit than I do, but never to his face. He already believes that his life's goal is to become more important than anyone around him.

I was happy with life as it was. Work was my drive and my quirks were my protection. I would never admit to anyone that I was not terrified of germs though I did believe that proper hygiene was important to keeping one's self in satisfactory health and that hand sanitizer was nothing to be ashamed of for keeping in one's pocket, messenger bag, bathroom, kitchen, bedroom, nightstand, end table, or office. I would also never admit that through I find the male preoccupation with perusing sexually satisfying mates degrading and mind numbing; I have indeed felt the effects of a beautiful woman.

I will give you a moment to let that settle. Yes, I have a 'deal'.

There have been many women in my thirty years that have caught my eye. Some actresses, models, and glossy pin ups taped to my brothers ceiling never failed to cause a stirring in my stomach that would almost always travel downward to warm my legs and every area in between. In Germany, a twenty something student by the name of Ida kept invading my dreams and leaving my unfocused the next day. However, I was not old enough at that time to push these thoughts away or control them. I liked to believe I was at the time but now I know that it was the biggest lie I have ever told.

Realization hit when Leonard and I made the trek up four flights of stairs to see a neighbor moving in. Her name was Penny and she was stunning. She held herself in a way that spoke confidence but her eyes seemed to tell the story of skepticism and pain. We later learned the reason for this pain when Leonard, failing to realize that he cannot always be the center of the universe to a damsel in distress, volunteered us for the ridiculous task of returning said damsel's TV from her rugged ex. I still, to this day, do not understand why I followed Leonard on his voyage.

That night, after we sat, humiliated in our apartment, I sat down on my spot on the couch and noticed right away something was off. It was her. She had been in this spot, however brief it might have been, and why I didn't notice it before eludes me as well, but her aroma lingered in the soft pillow in my spot. It was a rich fragrance of cherry blossom and baby powder. I retired early that evening and spent a good three hours trying to push that scent from my mind as well as the image of her walking through our hallway in nothing but a towel. I knew then that I was in trouble. And Leonard had called 'dibs.' What a child.

So that was how it came to be that I would sit by and watch Leonard pine for this woman and fail to keep her interests while she inserted herself in our weekly routines without batting an eyelash. It was not at Leonard's request that she was welcomed so quickly. It was at my insistence with myself that I put up no fight to her presence that would push her away. I would keep her close, tempting the barriers I began building from that first night until now, four years later, to ensure that I would not be swayed by a beautiful person again. The scientific community could not stand the loss of my attention when the idea of proving String Theory was within a year's grasp at most.

Temptation, now that is a heartless bitch. But I've proven myself to be stronger than I could have imagined and sleep does not evade me as she begins to work her way into my subconscious. Her bright smile and now welcoming eyes will flash for seconds at the most behind my closed lids and I will push her down. Bringing forth equations that would have made Howard quake to lull me to sleep. Yes, this would work just fine.

Until…

This particular Saturday afternoon was void of any excitement as they had been for month. The Saturday afternoon paintball sessions were canceled when my brothers in arms refused to show- feigning interest in their girlfriends. Well, I suppose the interest was genuine but I can't for the life of me allow myself to understand why. Because there she would be and that simply will not do. Leonard was with Priya, Howard, and Bernadette while Raj tried to bore me to death with how lonely and unimportant his life is. Leaving me no choice I forced him from my couch and out the door with the idea that he should bother someone else with his miserable problems.

Now, completely alone with my thoughts and a box set of Star Trek that needed to be watched again, I allowed myself to relax as the real Sheldon Cooper would do. Not the man who was hiding to avoid emotional connections but the man who wanted to just be. I collected a few snacks for myself- mostly fruits because regardless who Sheldon Cooper may want to be Sheldon Cooper will always be health conscious- and a bottle of water and placed it in front of my spot. I placed the DVDs in the player and readied them for my return. Satisfied that everything was in place I made my way into my bedroom and removed my layered shirts and mismatched pants. I pulled on a pair of basketball shorts from the back of my closet and a white t-shirt. A smug smile played at my lips at the idea of people seeing this side of me. It was not the norm and it would scare them to see me as anything other than crazy.

I padded my way back into the living room and shut off the lights and pressed play on the remote. The show started up and I kick my feet up next to my spot on the couch. Any passerby would think that I was just some nerdy bachelor, not the crazy 'whack-a-doodle' that my companions see. I was just about to doze off after the third episode reached its peak, my hand slipped under the band of my shorts, when someone burst through the door interrupting my singular world. Penny.

Her greeting caught in her throat at the sight of me uncharacteristically laid out on my couch dressed like a normal person would not some prepubescent kid. A small smile crept up her face and I remove my hand from shorts and force myself into a seated position. Busted.

"Sheldon… I didn't know you could look so… normal. You look like a normal guy." She whispered as she sat down next to me eying my attire with a glint of danger in her eyes.

"Well, as I understand it, people in a solitary environment are supposed to put their feet up, kick back, chillax, and all of that hokum. I thought I would see what the fuss was about." She giggles and notices that my face doesn't twitch. Another faux trait.

"So, you went out and bought clothes to make you look like K-fed minus the wife beater and visor and kicked back to enjoy Star Wars with your grapes? Sheldon, you rebel!" She laughs and pats my leg. My body tenses and I'm sure she believes it's because I am being touched. It's because _she_ is touching me. I delicately take her fore finger between mine and my thumb and pick up her hand and remove it from my leg. I think even this motion shocks her.

"While I know you are using the incorrect name of the show to get under my skin and I acknowledge your efforts I have to remind you that I am not aware, nor do I care, about any person or groups of people, named 'K-fed' and I strongly encourage you to broaden your reading by putting down the entertainment magazines and picking up an actual book. Preferably not something inane like  
'Twilight' or 'Hunger Games'. I have several Steven Hawking books that you might find interesting." I drifted back to my normal self in hopes of driving the attention away from me. Her stare blanks and she rolls her eyes at my attempt to insult her. Of course I would never mean to hurt her feelings and she is aware of this.

"Oh, please. You know I wont read 'Twilight'. I'm waiting until November when the next movie comes out!" She stated matter of factly. I gave her my 'oh dear lord' look as disappointment crept over my face.

"Well perhaps you and Raj can see it together. I understand that he is interested in all things menstrual."

"Sheldon, you know I am kidding. But I admire your attempt to change the subject. So what is this about?" She asked pointing to me. "I kinda like it." She smiled. I've heard people say that a genuine smile can reach a person's eyes. I've never understood that saying until now. The brightness spread to her cheeks, her eyes, her dimples that you rarely see visible.

"Penny, sometimes things are not what they seem to be. Sometimes even I like to pretend to be something I am not. And right now I wish to pretend to be a man with a love of Star Trek and the mind of a menial labor employee." I hoped voice sounded sincere.

"Is this like that time you bused tables at work? What problem are you trying to figure out that is stumping that beautiful mind of yours?" She stood up and walked over to the whiteboard that was bare of the normal daily work and filled with small exercise equations. To her it might as well have been Greek but she didn't look intimidated. She looked thrilled.

"There is nothing there that I haven't already figured out. I just wanted to relax my mind and body." Her head snapped around and she smiled wickedly at me. Oh dear. She strutted back over to me, her body illuminated by the glow of the TV and I felt the familiar warmth travel over my body as I watched the curves of her body swap with each step. 'Cool it Sheldon or all this work will be for nothing.'

She walked behind the couch and bent over to whisper in my ear.

"Sheldon, I have an idea for an experiment of my own. Would you be so kind as to assist me with it?"

"What are the parameters of this experiment?" I ask, forever the scientist.

"Well, I've got this friend who doesn't seem to know just how to unwind. Just when I give up hope for him I find that he is trying on his own to be normal. And I would like to see just how far this person would be willing to go to relax and unwind." She places her hands on my back and begins to paw at my trapezius muscle. Her fingers feel amazing as they start to work over the stress but before my mind can catch up with my body I have jumped off of the couch and away from her hands. Damn this adaptive lifestyle. I would have liked to stay in that moment a while longer.

"Penny, I would appreciate it if you keep your experiments on physical contact between you and your girl friends or..." I can't bring myself to say boyfriends. She is startled by my raised voice and I don't even realize that I was yelling.

"I'm sorry, Sheldon. I was just fascinated by this new side of you. I wanted to see what else I didn't know."

"How the hell is it that you see through me when others don't?" I demanded of her. My anger was boiling to the point of super nova and I begin to risk exposing myself to her yet again. All the deceptions I have pieced together could spill out at any moment. Her temptations are too much right now. Her eyes widen.

"Why are you yelling at me?" She whispers. She sounds feeble.

"Why are you avoiding my damn questions?" I counter. Suddenly my mother's Texan voice breaks through my anger and scolds me for my behavior as she would do when I yelled at Missy for ruining my experiments. "Shit." I curse. "Penny, I'm sorry. You're right there are things that people do not know about me and that is the way I would like to keep it. And I would like it if you kept your distance from me while I work through getting this back under control." I noticed a tear slip down her cheek and she nods.

"Of course." She walks to the door, her face flushed with embarrassment. She turns and considers me for a moment. "I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. Then you would know that no matter who you are you will always be my Sheldon." She whispered. Her words branded me. They burnt into my soul and down to my heart. I'm ashamed and I feel my throat tighten as the door closes behind her. I do not hear her door close so I assume she has left the building. I walk over and flip the lights back on and retreat back to my room to change back into my normal attire. I suddenly feel more exposed and slip back into my altered persona. The one that can make sense of my body's reaction to her hands and the way her words sent chills down my spine.

I return to the couch and turn off the TV to allow myself to think. I don't realize that hours have passed and there is a heavy storm coming down outside. Thunder clashes and I almost do not hear my phone chirp sounding a new text message. It is from Leonard.

_Penny was in a car accident. I don't know her injuries but it sounds bad. I will let you know more when I find out. We're all here if you think you can manage. _

My hand shakes as I run for the door and grab my keys. I've never actually been afraid of hospitals. Not really. I'll be there for her.

**I hope you like this so far. I wanted to do something different. And trust me if you guys like this and want more I can promise you a tough and romantic road ahead. **


	2. Chapter 2

**This chapter was very easy for me to write, but also extremely emotional. Everything Penny is going through is something that I went through just 4 months ago. The detail is all from memory- no research into procedures was done. I hope you guys enjoy this emotional roller coaster. Once things settle for her questions will be answered. Thank you for the awesome feedback by the way. I'll try to get one more chapter up this weekend but I can't promise.  
**

**Again, I own nothing other than the personal experience. Enjoy!  
**

PPOV

I left the building in a hurry, desperate to put as much distance between us as possible. I had noticed for years that the life Sheldon had put forward for his friends was not one that he really lived. There were subtle hints but the bomb that detonated in her mind was the look of normalcy on his face when she entered his apartment. His hand under the band of his basketball shorts and the un-Sheldon like manner that had him laid out on his couch watching his beloved Star Trek. Some things will always be Sheldon and others will never be the man I met. However, I meant what I said that he will always be my Sheldon no matter how different or normal he thinks he needs to be.

His words hurt me. The accusation that I could see through him when no one else could held anger and not inquisition. It was not harmless and I felt the rage seep from his pores and lash at me across the face. I just wish he could see that no matter who he is I will always accept him. Yes, I admit that I pushed things to far with him not knowing the truth behind the boundaries that he has set but I couldn't help but believe they were a rouse as the others have been. His touches, while still small and meaningless to the outside world were intense. I felt like he could change the very future with just one glance but yet chose to discredit his power by acting like a loon. Perhaps he should be in show business.

I jumped in my car, the check engine light flashing at me as another reminder, one of many, that Sheldon has made his way into my everyday way of life. Yes, I was always wearing flip flops. If something were to happen I would never live this down.

I drove for about an hour, not caring where I was going as long ask I was away from 4A. He wanted space to figure something out and I would give it to him. I was ready to finally return home and enjoy a bottle of wine with a relaxing bath when the storm started. Lightning and thunder crashed all around me and the rain fell like a waterfall. A block from the apartment I felt the car lurch out of control. I tried to right the car but... well the next thing I knew I was stopped with a lamp post across the roof and a sturdy tree denting in the engine compartment. I didn't feel any pain at first, just the blood running down from my forehead. The swelling from the gash increased and caused a headache to form. I looked around to assess the damage to the car and tried to make my way out of the car. I pushed on my door and it would not open. I was grateful that it did not ask when I moved my body to push I felt a grinding sensation in my legs. They were broken, that I was sure. I didn't have time to panic my injury as people came scrambling around telling me they had called 911 and help would be there shortly.

As I realized that I would be okay I began to feel calm. I thought about Sheldon and wondered if he would be concerned over this turn of events or if he would feel like it was a burden. Surely my friend would be there for me. I knew Bernadette and Raj would be there once they found out. Leonard would more likely need his girlfriends permission to show any kind of support, not that I would care anyway.

I searching my phone and pressed the first speed dial I could find. Of course, Leonard.

"Hello?" He answered with the sound of laughter behind him.

"Leonard, help me." I whispered. I heard him silence the room and ask me what was wrong. I told him about the wreck and he told me he would be there soon. I assumed he meant the hospital but I didn't know.

Around me people tried to figure out how to get me out of the car, people repeatedly asked me my name and age, what day it was and what happened, anything to keep me talking. Finally the weight of the situation brought me to exhaustion and my eyes became heavy. A light flashed before my eyes and it was the only thing I could focus on. I wondered if this was the legendary light people spoke of. I felt ready to go but wished that I had been given a chance to stay. People moved into the car next to me and brought my attention away from the light and back to the present. They explained how they figured out how to get me out. They were going to cut open my car and lift me out. I could only agree.

Fifteen minutes later and I was on a back board, my throat burning from the screams of pain that were ripped through my body. Thankfully someone thought to pull my legs, straightening the breaks to allow me to be transported in relative comfort. That was when I heard the voice I longed to hear from the beginning.

"Penny!" He seemed to shout it over and over again. I couldn't form the words to respond to him. They loaded me up into the ambulance and prepared to take me away and I heard him beg them to let him ride with him. They refused as it was going to take at least four people to transport me safely. One of the EMS workers offered to let him right with one of the officers that was following us to the hospital and I heard a reluctant reply. I thought I heard him tell me he would be there when I got there before I blacked out- either from exhaustion or blood loss. I'm not sure which.

When I came to my whole body hurt. I was laying in a room, my clothes cut away and a sheet covering me, people swarmed around me taking x-rays, hooking up IV's and administering pain medication, and discussing the options I had. I can't remember anything other then them saying they were going to drill holes in my lower legs. They wouldn't answer my questions as to why and I realized it was because the words never left my mouth. All I could do was cry and beg for more medication. They said they have given me all they could. The pain was nothing like I had ever experienced before and I wish they had left me in the car to die. That would have been better.

"Please, let me in!" I heard him beg again. A nurse walked over to my bedside and asked if a Dr. Cooper could come in. I offered a weak smile and a nod and she waved him over. He took in my appearance and I saw the grimace cross his features.

"That bad?" It was the only thing I had the strength to say.

"Both of your femurs are broken, identical, for that matter. They will likely place rods through them to stabilize the breaks and help them heal. You have a lot of bruising and cuts but they do not believe there is any internal damage." He was the first to explain this to me and I wonder how he knew this. Seeing the questions in my eyes he answered for me. "I was listening to the consults. They will put you in traction tonight to help you rest without to much discomfort." I nodded and tears fell from my eyes.

"Hurts." I whimpered.

He nodded and left to find a doctor. A few minutes later the doctor returned with an annoyed look on his face.

"Ma'am, do you abuse pain medication?" He asked. My eyes widened in shock and horror as I shock my head no. "We have been pumping you full of pain medication since you got here. It is enough to sedate a horse yet you are still in pain." He explained. Tears fell more freely.

"Doctor, can I speak to you a moment?" Sheldon asked, anger in his face. The doctor nodded and they stepped back to the end of the bed, like if they were out of view I couldn't hear them.

"First of all I find it highly offensive that you would accuse her of something as ridiculous as this. The only thing I have ever seen her abuse in the last four years is wine and that is hardly an issue here. Secondly, she has broken both of her legs. If you would like I can show you what that pain probably feels like but I would prefer to stay with her as long as I can so that option is not readily available at this time. And lastly, she has suffered a head injury. I may not be a medical doctor but I know well enough that anytime a person suffers from a head injury the effects of any narcotic medications is severally inhabited so I suggest you apologize to her at once." His voice was filled with so much suppressed anger that I felt pity on the doctor. But only for a moment.

The doctor made his way back to my bed and spoke in a hushed tone to the nurse to my right. "Please give her ketamine before we place her in traction. In the mean time continue with the previous medications in ten minute intervals." The nurse nodded and walked away. She was replaced by my knight in shining armor. Sheldon returned to my side and pulled up a chair and placed his hand on the side of my bed. I felt the pressure and reached out to grab his hand. He took mine and squeezed slightly. I winced and it did not go unnoticed by him. He asked if x-rays had been taken of my hands and I tugged his hand returning his attention to me.

"You... are afraid of... hospitals." I managed.

"I am here for you, Penny. That is all that matters."

"Others?" I asked, hoping he knew what I meant. I knew I had called Leonard but I wondered why he was not here as well.

"They are in the waiting room. You know that I am not one to sit on the sidelines so I barged my way in demanding to see you." He smiled and rubbed his thumb over my hand in a reassuring manner. I glanced at our hands and noticed the blood from a cut he was rubbing his thumb over. I began to pull my hand away and his eyes questioned my actions.

"Blood." I whispered. He looked down and laughed.

"Penny, I hardly think this is the time to concern yourself with my well being. I can assure that at this moment I do not care if I see or touch your blood but I will make sure to shower more thoroughly tonight. However, I am willing to put all of that aside to be here for you. You are my dearest friend." His hand reached out and touched my cheek. I feel moisture under his fingers I didn't notice before. Tears, I assume when his finger moves clear of a red liquid.

"I was right." I whisper. He ghosts for a moment and sighs.

"Yes, you were right. You are the only person that has ever seen who I try to hide. But we'll talk about this more later." He stops talking and looks at the nurse who has finished setting up antiseptic, a drill, wires, weights, and needles. My hand tightens on his as I glimpse the hardware as well.

"Sheldon, I'm scared." He doesn't have a chance to answer. The nurse brings a needle to my IV and suddenly everything goes black.

The next thing I remember is asking when they would put my legs in traction. I notice right away that the pain I was feeling has subsided and I feel comfortable since the first time since the accident. Sheldon grips my hand and tells me that they are done and will be moving me soon.

"Did they knock me out?" I ask, my voice back now that the waves of pain are not shooting through my body.

"No, you were awake." His face is paler.

"Are you okay?" I ask. He shakes his head and I swear I see a tear fall down his face. "Sheldon, why are you really here?" The question on the tip of my tongue rolls out of my mouth without my permission. He looks nervous for a moment and then drops my hand and stands up.

"I need to let everyone else know I am here and let them know how you are. We will talk once you have rested. I will be back to check on you shortly." He walks out of the room and leaves me to wonder who Sheldon Cooper really is. Tears slip down my face as I think of everything that is changing around me and fear constricts my chest. I hear the monitors connected to my chest pick up. The nurse beside me places her hand on my shoulder and smiles.

"Honey, you will be okay." She murmurs. I force a bitter laugh. "I've seen people come in in worse shape than you but I've never seen someone love someone more than that man loves you. He'll see you though this." She smiles brightly and wraps the blanket tighter around my naked body and pats my arm again before walking through the doors Sheldon just retreated through. So many questions cross my mind but exhaustion wins and I feel myself slip into a deep, drug induced, sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Again, I know this is emotional and some of it is ridiculous but I can assure you that everything Penny is going through is everything that did happen to me so the authenticity of the events with her in the hospital are as true as I can remember it- and unfortunately I remember everything until they gave me Ketamine and everything after it wore off. You just have to trust me... I think the Shenny fans out there will like this once it's all said and done. There are a few personal experiences I can't decide on putting in. Tell me what you think... The day after surgery I threw a blood clot and nearly died had it not been for the guest in my room I would not be here today writing this. Should I do that to Penny? I'm torn. **

SPOV

I didn't want to leave her room but I risked telling to much when she was not in a state to hear it. I didn't want to hurt her by telling her that I couldn't risk her making her way into my subconscious and preventing me from working the next day. I couldn't tell her that her body was as familiar to me as my spot on the couch but my insults, though harmless to her, were my way of keeping her out of my heart. Hell, at this point I wasn't even sure if it would hurt her but her eyes told a story her battered body could not tell. She was glad I was there with her and scared when I left her.

I leaned against the wall just outside her room and buried my head in my hands. I can see the lacerations all over her body that was not hidden by the thin sheet. I could see the blood seep through the ones that that were covered. I could see the holes in her shins that were attached to the weights keeping her femurs in place long enough to allow them to do surgery. I could hear the whimpers of pain as they poked at her legs, stitched her arms, and I could hear the screams when they moved her legs to get a better picture of her injuries. I wish I could erase that from my mind.

I wish I could take it away. I sigh and lift my head up and make my way to the waiting room. Leonard and the others do not even know I am here. The officer that brought me here took me in the ambulance entrance so I didn't have to explain myself when I demanded to see her. I pushed open the doors and saw my friends sitting there huddled together waiting for word. Bernadette noticed me first and gasped at the sight of me.

"Sheldon! What happened to you?" She asked running to me and staying within arms reach of my body. I looked down and saw the blood on my shirt. The others stand and eye me curiously.

"I left the apartment as soon as I got your text, Leonard. The accident was just a block away from there so I made it there as they were getting her out." I explained. The site of the car destroyed flashed before me and I shuddered. Screw my facade. It wasn't important anymore. "An officer drove me here since they would not let me ride with her and when I got here they let me in to see her. I held her hand and apparently got her blood on my clothes." Howard and Leonard both gasped.

"You, the man who hates hospitals and blood, stood in an ER with Penny?" Leonard asked.

"Honestly, Leonard can we focus on what is more important here and not how my behavior is shocking to you. I honestly do not care what you think at this moment so I would appreciate all comments not related to Penny be kept to yourself until a later date that it could possibly be deemed appropriate." Everyone snickered, but Leonard of course.

"Fine, then you clearly know more than we do. How is she?" He finally asked.

"She has two broken femurs," I drew a line across both of my legs just above the knees where her breaks were. "and a mild concussion. They put her in traction and will be transporting her to a room for the night and will have to undergo surgery tomorrow." It felt like the world might collapse around me as I finally explained it to them. It was not the idea of being here, in a hospital, as I stated I've never really been afraid of them I just think being there for someone you don't care about to be a ridiculous chore. But I think about how badly she is hurt and my chest hurts and my head spins. I sit down in the nearest chair and wait for the barrage of questions.

There were none. Leonard picked up the phone and called someone, I assume Penny's father, and Priya followed him outside. Howard and Bernadette stepped away to speak amongst themselves, obvious to me, about my strange behavior. Rajesh stayed with me, tears slipping down his face.

"Do you think they will let me see her?" He asked me.

"They barely let me in. I believe once she is in a room, if she is willing, people will be able to visit her." I sighed heavily and began to wish that I had never left her. Social protocol be damned at this point. All that I should care about is I know how she is and am there for her.

"You saw them put her in traction?" Raj asked quietly. I nodded.

"How did you not pass out? I know it's not about Penny but I have to ask." Raj rambled.

"When I was a kid I watched my Meemaw have an abscess lacerated. The smell was horrible but I couldn't bring myself to leave her." I explained.

"How long have you loved her?" He tried. I wanted to gasp and tell him he was misinterpreting the situation but I realized I offered more than I should have. So rather than defend my emotions I simply chose to avoid them.

"Now is not the place to discuss mundane feelings and trivial emotions." I stood and made my way back to her room. They let me in without question. The doctor offered a glare to my presence, clearly put out for being called out for his offensive diagnosis of her situation but the nurse smiled and offered me the spot next to Penny.

"She's been resting since you left. They are getting her room set up now and we'll be moving her soon. Would you like me to ask them to set up a bed for you as well?" The thought of sleeping in a place that was not my bed was not idea but what hurt more was knowing she could need something in the middle of the night and be left to the mercy of the hospital staff. How could they diligently keep watch over her and so many others. I nodded my thanks to the nurse. She retreated to the hall and stopped an orderly giving him new instructions. My fingers ghosted over her arm across the bruises forming. Her eyes fluttered open and I regretted my actions immediately.

"How long have I been out?" She whimpered.

"It couldn't have been long. I've only been gone for seventeen minutes."

"Who is here?" She asked feebly.

"Well, Howard, Bernadette, Raj, Leonard, and Priya. Raj would like to see you. I believe his interest in 'chick flicks' has turned him into a hormonal teenage girl. He's sobbing in the waiting room." I offered a small smile hoping to lighten her spirits. She smirked quickly, only to have it replaced with a grimace of pain.

"I don't think I'm up to see anyone tonight." She paused for a moment before continuing. "Sheldon, I can't tell you what it means to have you here with me." A sob ripped through her throat and I felt myself at a loss for words. "Please, don't leave me."

"Penny, I had already planned to put my comfort aside and stay with you if you so wished. The nurse has asked that a place be set up for me to sleep. I do not trust that people people will be able to tend to you the way you need." Honesty was always my best and worst quality. She sobbed harder. Before I could respond two nurses dressed in matching blue scrubs came in and informed us they would be moving her to her room. I asked for the room and told her I would be there shortly. I needed to send everyone home. I retreated back to the waiting room and once again the attention fell on me.

"They are moving her to her room now. She has asked that she not have any visitors tonight. She will be in surgery most of the day tomorrow so I would assume you can see her on Monday." They seemed disappointed but nodded.

"Come on, Sheldon. I'll take you home." Leonard dropped his head at the dejection regardless of his current partner by his side. That man will never be happy. No wonder she left him.

"Oh, that will not be necessary. I will be staying with her tonight." All eyes turned to me, wide and shocked.

"Excuse me? She refuses to see anyone else but she is letting you stay with her? How bad is her head injury?" Howard asked rather rudely.

"She is in a rational state of mind. I believe she finds comfort with me as I was there at the site of the crash and I stood up for her against that dreadful doctor who accused her of abusing narcotics. If I had to choose someone to stay with me in the hospital I would choose myself as well. Clearly she is of sound mind." That sounded like me.

"I don't believe this." Leonard muttered and turned away.

"What upsets you more, Leonard? That she asked me to stay with her or that she didn't ask you?" I countered.

"She called me for help! Not you!" He shouted, desperation seeping from his pores. I could see the anger flash in Priya.

"I hardly see how that is relevant and I refuse to argue this any longer. If there are any updates I will notify everyone accordingly. Now, if you will excuse me I need to get back."

"What is going on here, Sheldon? You do not care about anyone other than yourself. Why are you suddenly so concerned with Penny?" He refused to let it go. Raj tried to pull him away but he brushed him off.

"A dear friend of ours was seriously injured in a car accident that could have very well taken her life. I would hope that my motives to her requests would not be questioned."

"Leonard, look we all know Penny and Sheldon have a thing. No one knows what it is but she wants him there and she doesn't want to see us tonight. You can figure this out later but we need to leave." I nodded at Howard making a mental note to move him from acquaintance to friend.

"And don't you dare ask Penny about this or I will show you just how pissed off this little blonde can get!" Bernadette warned. Howard's eyes flashed with fear and I wanted to laugh at this exchange. However, their Sheldon would not. Instead I sighed and turned back down the hallway to the elevators that would take me to her room.

As I stepped in I heard Priya accusing Leonard of feelings for Penny, Howard warning Leonard to let it go, and Raj telling Bernadette his theory of my own actions. I love her. Well, that couldn't be further from the truth thanks to my conditioning. However, I feel that it will all be for naught if I spend much more time with her like this. And I refuse to leave her as long as she will have me.

I wonder if she would mind if I moved my whiteboard into her room?

**A/N: In case you are wondering Amy didn't work out and she is not in the group. Sorry for any Amy fans but I didn't want to put her in the middle of this. **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: The feedback for this story is blowing me away. Not just because I wrote it and I'm excited that you guys like it but because I lived it. I'm not going to take you on the four month long journey that I have been through but these next few chapters, Penny's recovery, are going to be crucial. Thanks for sticking with me! **

SPOV

I made my way back into her hospital room and surveyed my surroundings. Penny was asleep in that horrid hospital bed, her legs attached to wires that held weights firmly in place to keep her breaks from shifting. I hoped they were gentle when they moved her, mindful of the bumps along the way.

The couch next to the window had been pulled out to make a bed with two pillows and several blankets placed for my comfort as well. The room was dark, the only lights coming from the TV she must have turned on and the LED numbers from the IV pumps. I read the labels on everything. Nothing was being administered regularly for pain.

The chair next to the bed called to me and I pulled it closer to her and sat down taking in her appearance. Her makeup was smeared, the gash on her head was swollen forming a rather large hematoma, and a small cut on her lip shattered the delicate look of her face. Her arms were uncovered and her right forearm was covered in dried blood. A deep blue hue formed on her skin just above her wrist. Her left arm looked far better and I wondered why they didn't bother to clean her up before sending her up here. Don't they know that it's not hygienic?

My mind made up, I stood and grabbed a large yellow pail in the room that I assume they used to give the occupants sponge baths and set out to do just that. Hopefully I wouldn't wake her. The bathroom light clicked on and I worked to perfect the temperature of the water so it would neither burn nor freeze her on contact. The only soap I could choose from was the standard hospital sanitizer which smelled ghastly but it would have to do. I will need to ask that some of her things be brought here in the next few days to make her stay more comfortable.

Armed with the pail and washcloths, I sat them on the tray next to her bed and dunked one of the white terry cloth sheets in the water and wrung out the excess. I dabbed the cloth around the cut on her lip, barely touching her but cleaning the wound the best I could. My attention made its way up to her forehead and, with even more caution, cleaned that area. When I was finished the only red was where the site of the laceration and nowhere else. Next, I moved her arm over so the majority of the stains were facing up.

I felt a pain in my chest at the blood I could see. I couldn't stop myself from running my fingers over her clear skin and wishing I could take this away from her. If only I could turn the earth backwards and stop her from leaving. I would have seen then, what I see now, that my charade is not worth the effort it takes to put it on.

I dunked the washcloth again and began tending to her arm, having to scrub her skin with a little more force than needed on her face to clean this area. She whimpered a few times and I was worried she was stirring. Once she was wiped clean I dried her off with another washcloth and disposed of the dilute red, soapy, water. When I walked back out of the bathroom her eyes were on me, clouded with confusion.

"You're here." She whispered. I reclaimed the chair and nodded to her.

"You asked me not to leave. I told you I would stay. You can always trust my word, Penny. If you want me here I will be here." I patted the side of the bed for emphasis but I'm not sure why. The moment seemed awkward and my ability to push people away did not prepare me for how to handle such awkwardness. I looked at her and she was crying again. I was immediately alarmed. "Are you in any pain?" I was ready to jump from my chair and track down the first nurse I saw if I needed to.

"No," She closed her eyes and swiped at her face. "I mean yes, but I can tolerate it. I'm… I can't believe this happened. And I can't believe you have been here for me." Pushing buttons on her bed she raised herself so she could speak to me properly. However, it also gave her a better look at her legs and a small scream escaped her lips. "Oh my god, Sheldon its real. This happened! What am I going to do?" She buried her face in her hands and sobbed. Oh I had hoped this wouldn't happen tonight.

I stood and sat down gently next to her on the bed and wrapped one arm around her shoulder and my other hand held her head to my chest as I stroked her matted hair.

"Penny, you will get through this. You are strong. Tomorrow they will rebuild you; they will make you stronger…" I drifted off. "Maybe not faster but that will come in time." I joked. She pulled away from me and blanched at my reference.

"Please do not quote the six million dollar man to me right now." She chuckled a bit. I was surprised she got that. "When am I having surgery? I do not remember them telling me anything about it other than what they would be doing. It's all such a blur."

"Well, the hospital staff clearly needs to be re-advised on their HIPA policies but they seemed to think that I was 'family' as the nurse called me. She told me everything they were doing and what was happening. Normally I would go into detail but you need your rest so I will be brief. They did not schedule an exact time but they expected you to go in first thing in the morning. By hospital standards that is usually between 6-8 AM. Please try not to punch anyone in the throat; they will need their larynx to operate on you." She smirked. "They will take you to pre-op and get you ready and then take you to surgery. They expect it to last approximately four to five hours."

"Will you be there?"

"No, I am not permitted to watch the surgery nor will I be allowed in post-op. However, if you should request me to be there when you come back to your room, I will be."

"Why?" I realized I was still stroking her hair, comforting her when she seemed to no longer need it. I stood up from the bed and sat back in the chair.

"You need your rest." I insisted. A tear slipped down her cheek again.

"Sheldon, I never would have expected you, of all the people in my life, to be the one by my side when my life is shattered. You are an incredible friend but this…" I stopped her, desperate to keep her from going into this at this day and time.

"Penny, there will be plenty of time for this discussion later. There are things I plan to tell you when the time is right now this is not it. You need to focus on you and only you. Please, get some rest. If you need anything I'll be right over here." I pointed to the couch behind me. I saw her eyes begin their protest as she regretted asking me to stay. Before she could open her mouth I stopped her. "I will be fine. It's not my bed and I do not have my Saturday pajamas but I think I can handle a little more chaos today. It won't kill me." I added the last line with a chirp of humor. She meekly smiled and lowered her bed back down and turned off the TV.

In the darkness of the room I removed my shoes and lay down on the couch turned bed and tried to turn off my mind. Sleep would also do me well but all the conditioning in the world could not have prepared me for this day. I drifted off to sleep not fighting the image of her in my apartment smiling or the image of the drill going through her legs.

The next morning we were awoken at 5:49am to a bright and cheerful nurse coming to tell us that Penny would be moved to pre-op within the hour. Penny was stoic as she explained the best she could what she would be going through. Her strength astounded me. I did have to laugh when Penny asked if she was going to be intubated and when told yes she asked if she could brush her teeth. The nurse frowned and informed her she could not but she would bring her mouthwash if she promised not to swallow any of it. When she retreated to her task Penny glared at my laughter.

"I look disgusting. There is no reason I should smell as bad." was all she offered me. I picked up the blankets and folded them up on the couch and began sending text messages to all of the right people, saving Leonard for last. When the nurse returned and Penny's mouth was minty fresh the pre-op nurse came in and began to wheel her out. Penny stopped her and asked for a minute with me. The nurse looked annoyed but stopped and stepped out into the hall way.

I walked over to her and she grasped my hand like it was the only thing holding her to this body.

"I'm scared, Sheldon."

"I can assure you, you will be fine. You will wake up in a few hours and to you it will feel like minutes. Would you like anyone else to be here when you get back?" I asked, hoping she would say that I was once again the only one permitted.

"I'd rather not. But someone needs to call my family."

"Leonard called your father last night. He's planning to leave tomorrow morning, according to Leonard's text message." I left out that her father was less than thrilled to find out that he was not with his daughter and could not offer more information than what I had provided. She offered a small smile and nod and I waved for the nurse pacing in front of the door to come back in.

"I'll see you soon?" She asked as she was being taken away. She didn't hear my response, mostly because once again I found myself at a loss for words around her.

I started to tidy up her room to keep my body busy to suppress my mind. Thankfully my phone rang and the caller ID showed it was Raj.

"Hello Rajesh." I greeted, my normal cheerfully sardonic voice was gone. It would probably never return. I was tired body and mind.

"Sheldon, you sound like hell. I got your message that Penny was going to surgery. Can I talk to her?"

"They just left with her. I must say that I am impressed with the promptness of this hospital. They told us it would be within the hour and she was collected twenty three minutes later."

"Are you staying there? I can come get you and take you home to shower?" How I could have ever assumed that Leonard the better friend out of the three of them was beyond me. Despite his neediness and constant need for acceptance he was a gracious friend.

"Well, I do need a shower and I was unable to change last night so the clothes I have now are not my Sunday best as my Meemaw would say." Raj chuckled.

"I'll be there soon. But you have to promise you'll let me see her when she gets out of surgery. I might not be able to talk to her but I want her to know that I am supporting her." He was begging and I was not annoyed. He cared for Penny as he should.

"I will ask her if it would be acceptable for you to be here when she returns. I cannot promise something that is not in my control."

"I can live with that. I'll see you in a bit." He hung up without waiting for a reply. I gathered up my messenger bag and pulled a composition note book from it making a list of what I would need to bring back from Penny's apartment.

Shampoo, Body wash, toothbrush, toothpaste, pajamas, definitely no delicates as I noted the deep bruising over her clavicle would make wear such a garment uncomfortable. I also made a note to go out and pick up those ridiculous entertainment magazines that she enjoyed and thought about stopping by the book store to pick up something she might enjoy reading. I wrote flowers but scratched that out just as soon as my pen stopped on the s. I shook my thoughts clear and placed everything back in my bag and headed how to wait for Raj.

My phone buzzed as I walked out of the hospital.

_Is she in surgery? Will she let us see her? _I sighed and typed out my reply to Leonard.

_Yes and no. _Another buzz.

_Are you staying there?_

Raj pulled up in front of me before I could type out a response that would most likely offend him and I shoved my phone back in my pocket and climbed into the car. Raj wasted no time letting the inquisition begin.

"What is up with you, dude?"

"What is up? Well, at the moment my head is up. The clouds are up, the…" Raj cut me off. Of course.

"You know what I mean and you know it. Do you have feelings for Penny?" He bluntly asked. I considered him for a moment. This would be a conversation that I would need to have soon so what could it hurt to have practice with it now. I have, after all, made myself socially awkward. Telling Raj might not be a bad idea.

"Raj, what if I told you that my life, as you see it, was a rouse? That perhaps my way of life if a choice not because I over react over chaos and strive for order but because it's easier that way for people to keep me at a distance?" Raj seemed to think about this for a moment.

"So you're saying that your not the anal retentive, self absorbed, schedule strict germaphob that we all think you are?"

"Well, I do believe that my contributions to our scientific community will be of great value one day and I doubt that many people can understand the complexity of-" Raj stopped me again.

"OK, I get it you're still an arrogant asshole. But you're not... you." He summed up.

"Well, I am me. I'm not capable of being anyone else. However if you are confirming that I am not the neurotic being I portray myself to be then you would be correct."

"And it took Penny being in a horrific accident to bring you out of your shell?" I thought about it for a moment, trying to come up with an acceptable answer. I could only find one.

"Penny brought my out of my shell but it had nothing to do with the accident." Raj nodded in understanding and I was glad that the conversation seemed to end with that. I could trust Raj to keep this between us, unless of course he was inebriated and let it slip to Howard. But I wasn't going to concern myself with that.

We pulled up to my apartment and walked up the stairs. I gave Raj the key to Penny's apartment and asked him to gather the items I wrote down in her room. I left him with specific instructions to avoid her personal drawers and retreated to the shower to clean myself up. The thermal was likely history but at least I could try to salvage it with a mixture of peroxide and water but I would worry about that later. I quickly dressed, pulled out my emergency overnight bag and headed back to the living room where Raj was seated with Penny's bag. He looked content to sit and stay for a while.

"Raj, I would appreciate it if you could return me to the hospital. I promised Penny I would be there when she got back." I shuffled slightly, annoyed that my ticks were more second nature now.

"We've only been here for about forty five minutes. You said she would be in surgery for hours."

"Four to five to be exact plus about an hour in post-op." I clarified. Raj laughed and stood with Penny's bag in hand. I questioned his snicker.

"You, my friend have it bad. You are lucky my sister has your roommate preoccupied otherwise Leonard would be more of a problem than he already is."

"Yes, well I do believe that your sister needs to assert more dominance in their relationship as I do not believe it is acceptable in any relationship to watch a mate become jealous for no reason over a former flame. I don't understand, out of all of us, he is the one with more dates."

"You and me both, dude." We closed the door and made our way back to the hospital in an enjoyable silence.

**A/N Sorry this chapter was kind of boring. There was filler that needed to be. The next chapter is going to be rough. Just to warn you. It will take me a few days and I will need to work hard to get it right. I've already got a start on it. Let's just say it was/will be rough.**


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: This one is going to be rough. It will be long because there are a few major things I want to put in this chapter before I start to move things along at a quicker pace.

PPOV

They took me from my room and left Sheldon behind. I felt an emptiness I haven't felt before and wondered where it was coming from. I contemplated what was going on with Sheldon while the nurses chattered on about something and the ceiling lights passed over my head.

They wheeled me into a room that looked like a vacant emergency department. There were small rooms surrounding a command center where nurses, doctors, and others would write up notes, talk about cases, and pass off the next victim. I heard my name being passed around and a man with a thick accent said that he was up. As soon as they settled me into my pre-op room he came in.

"Hello Penny. How are we doing today?" He asked. He sounded Russian.

"All things considered, I would have to go with horrible." He offered a genuine smile and patted my arm.

"I'm going to ask you a few questions and then your anesthesiologist will be in to talk to you. But I can assure you, you will be just fine and this will all be a distant memory." I nodded and wiped at a tear that fell. He began his borage of questions that I have been asked a thousand times since I've been here and he left giving me one last meaningful yet sympathetic smile. I felt myself begin to drift off to sleep when another man came in and began asking me the same questions again. I began to get annoyed but he finally began telling me about how he would be there with me while I was under to make sure that I was breathing properly and there would be nothing for me to worry about.

"Your life is in my hands and I won't let you down." He jested. I couldn't help but laugh.

"I hope so." He also patted my arm and said they would be taking me in in a few minutes. True to his word I was wheeled out of my room and down a series of hallways to a room with double doors that opened to the odor of sterile. I looked around and took in my surroundings.

There was a large TV hanging from the wall to my right that displayed my x-rays and I was able to see the breaks for the first time. Both of my femurs were broken is such a way that when I was not in traction the bones overlapped each other by at least two inches. I had to turn away quickly not able to look at it for long.

On the tray next to me was a vast array of terrifying surgical equipment. One item in particular looked like a mallet of some sorts as well as clamps, scalpels, and scissors. Before I had a chance to ask about any of it my anesthesiologists pushed a drug into my IV and my world went dark.

I awoke some time later with Sheldon's words ringing in my head. _It will feel like minutes. _ It did. But before I could even ask how long I was out I was overcome by a terrible pain radiating from my right knee. My throat burned otherwise I know I would have screamed at the throbbing sensation in my leg. My arms felt heavy and my chest tight. This couldn't be right. Surely something was wrong. A nurse sitting at a portable computer at the foot of my bed noticed I was awake and came over to check my vitals.

"How are you doing, honey?" She asked.

"It hurts. My knee hurts!" I cried. "Something is wrong." I concluded. She offered a soft smile and touched my shoulder.

"They did have to go through your knees to insert the rods in your femurs. It's normal to feel pain from the surgery." She turned and retreated to the computer. I tried to remain calm and push the pain out of my mind but it was too overwhelming. Eventually my controlled breathing turned into gaps and I again got my nurses attention.

"Honey, you need to calm down. You need to control your breathing. We cannot give you anything more for the pain right now." I thought about the morphine pump you see in movies and wanted to ask why I didn't have one. I wanted to ask so many questions but my voice could only form the word "hurts". She nodded again and walked out of the room and informed someone at the station to keep an eye on me in her absence. She returned a short time later and began to undress my knee and inspect the incisions.

"Honey, everything looks fine. It's closed up nicely. Once we get you back to your room we'll be able to give you something else. Just try to relax and work on controlling your breathing. I need to hook you up to oxygen for now." She pulled a nasal tube out of a tray and put it up to my nose and I felt the air rush in. I focused, as asked, on breathing deeply. I tried pushing the pain away by thinking of anything at all that would normally bring a smile to my face.

Pizza night with the guys. A bath and a bottle of wine. A sappy movie. Sheldon's quirks. Sheldon's fake laugh. Sheldon by my side through this.

Oh god, I couldn't let him see me like this. He wouldn't know what to do. It would terrify him. Wouldn't it? My mind drifted to the changes in his behavior over the years. The oddities that seemed to slip when it was just he and I but were out in full force when the guys were around and the way he would come to me and no other when he needed something. Who was the real Sheldon? The crazy whack-a-doodle that she first met or this new, caring, unnerved Sheldon. Before I could think too much more into it a wave of pain shot through my right knee again and I cried out again. The nurse looked up and then back down at her computer just as quickly.

This went on for an eternity but was more likely just a half hour. A nurse came in and gave me a pill, extended relief morphine I was told, and a Percocet which I greedily took more so for the water on my burning throat than anything else. Satisfied that the pills were gone they unlocked my bed and took me back to my room. I honestly do not remember the journey back to my room. My eyes were clenched shut and my mind screaming for a distraction. I felt the bed turn and my eyes opened to see two familiar figures standing in the hallway with faces full of pain and worry.

My eyes locked on Sheldon's and I offered a weak smile and a wiggle of my fingers. Raj's face was ghastly pale for someone of his normal color. He couldn't return the smile, nor could he close his mouth against the shock. I found myself ok with him here even though I asked that no one else be.

The nurses and orderlies bustled around me making sure that everything was hooked up properly and that my IV bag was replaced. I kept my eyes on Sheldon, wishing he would walk in and take my hand and tell me everything was going to be ok. Hell I'd settle for Raj at this point but I wondered when Sheldon became the person I wanted to comfort me. My mind drifted to my dislocated shoulder and I realized it was then.

The room emptied, nurses made promised but I didn't hear them, and the boys made their way to my side. Sheldon sat down in the chair he was in this morning and placed his fingertips on my upper arm. A small indication to me that he was here but a giant leap away from who he pretends to be. I tried to focus my attention on Raj. He was trying not to cry.

"I'm glad you're here." I whispered. Apparently that was the wrong or right thing to say, I'm not sure which, because he exploded in sobs. Sheldon's annoyed sigh made me laugh.

"Good lord Rajesh, get a hold of yourself." He nodded and swiped at the tears on his face and took my hand in his and squeezed it firmly. That action spoke louder than any words he could not possibly say.

_I'm here for you Penny. _

"Thank you, Raj." I turned to Sheldon. "How long was I gone?" I asked, finally hoping to get some answers as the pain seemed to dissipate either because the meds had kicked in or I had something else, something more important, to think about right in front of me.

"You were in surgery for four hours and twenty three minutes." He stated very matter of fact. How he was privileged to that information I didn't want to know. I know the nurses thought he was more to me than a friend. Maybe he was right; they need to re-evaluate their HIPA policies. "Raj and I took it upon ourselves to bring a few comforts from your apartment to you." He stood and placed my bag on his chair and unloaded the familiar items on the tray in front of me. "I made sure that your underwear drawer was left unopened." He offered a nod to Raj and I couldn't help but laugh, actually laugh.

"Thank you, so much, Sheldon." I yawned and my eyes slipped closed without my permission.

"You need to rest." I nodded and opened my eyes and reached out for him. He found my hand and took it in his. "I'll be here when you wake up." He offered a small amount of reassurance. I nodded again and closed my eyes and began to drift off to sleep. Before I was completely out I heard Raj speak in a hushed voice.

"You might as well tell her." I didn't have time to ponder the meaning behind his words before I was out.

I woke up hours later and noticed the sun had set and the room was dark with the exception of the light from Sheldon's laptop sitting in front of him. His eyes were scrunched together and he seemed deep in thought. I didn't want to bother him but the pain from my right knee was the reason I was awake. It seemed more intense then it was after surgery. I tried to stifle a whimper and looked up at the ceiling willing the tears to retreat. Of course he heard me. I heard the sound of his laptop snap closed and he was by my side in an instant.

"How are you feeling?" His words told me truly cared. It wasn't just a social nicety.

"What time is it?" I asked, rather hoping that talking about something else would keep my mind off the fact that I just wished someone would cut my leg off.

"It is 11:30. Now please answer my question." There is no avoiding Sheldon.

"I feel like someone cut open my leg and tore things apart and haphazardly put them back together."

"Well, that is essentially what happened." I think the glare I gave him terrified him because he took a step back. "I will see if I can locate your nurse." He stepped away and exited my room. Once he was gone I let out a strangled scream and tried to reach my leg. The movement, from lying flat on my back, cause another scream and more tears to stream down my face. I was so uncomfortable so I tried moving the head of the bed up. That made things worse so I lowered myself back down and raised my legs. It helped slightly but I wanted nothing more than to lay on my side and curl into a small ball.

Sheldon returned and took in my sight and, like the knight he is, was by my side in seconds offering assistance. I vaguely remember hearing the nurse offer suggestions as to how to place my legs, prop them up with pillows, move them, that might help with the pain or at least make me more comfortable. The idea was terrifying.

"When can she have more medication?" He asked for me. Matt, the nurse, pulled up my chart on the computer.

"She's not due morphine for another few hours. We can give her Percocet but it will take some time to take effect."

"Oh, god please. I need something now!" I cried. "I can't take this pain!" Sheldon looked panicked and his eyes danced between Matt and I.

"There is nothing I can give you other than the Percocet that will not potentially suppress your breathing."

"God, I don't care I will sign whatever you want me to sign, just please!" I screamed. The pain seemed to mount as we sat here and argued and any rational thoughts were going right out the window. Matt sighed and looked back at Sheldon.

"There isn't anything more we can do for her. I know she's in pain but giving her anything on top of what she has already been given could kill her." The words made sense but my mind didn't care.

"Please!" I screamed. "You have no idea what this feels like. Please!" Matt seemed to concede and walked out of the room.

"Penny, please try to relax. Your pulse ox is dropping and your heart rate is dangerously high. Please, just relax." I felt his fingers rub circles over my hands and my arms but I couldn't focus on anything but the pain. It was still growing. A few minute later and a few controlled breaths, I seemed to have myself in a little more control, albeit not much.

"I've got some Percocet for you and I want to try an ice compress to see if that won't help take down some of the swelling and elevate the pain." Matt offered as he returned and placed a bag on my leg and the weight felt like it might crush my leg. "I'll be back to check on your shortly." He said as he closed the door. I once again tried to take my mind off of this pain.

"Where is Raj?"

"He left shortly after you feel asleep. It was for the best. His highly emotional state of mind was getting ridiculous." I gasped as another sharp pain ripped through my leg. "Is there anything I can do to assist you?"

"I don't know. I feel like I need to move my legs but I can't." He pondered the situation for a moment and then spoke.

"I have an idea if you will permit me to touch your leg." I could only nod. I doubt there could be anything else he could do that could make things worse. He nodded back and turned to his couch and grabbed an extra pillow and brought it back to my right leg. Gently, with the hands of someone cleaning a delicate collectable, he lifted my leg at the knee and rotated it slightly to the right and stuck the pillow under it. I won't lie and say it didn't hurt but I refused to let him see just how badly. Once he was pleased with the placement he returned the ice pack back to my knee in a much softer way that was not directly over my incision. That did actually feel better, though not much. "Does that help?"

"A little." The meek sound of my voice was frightening to my ears. I hoped the pain medication would kick in soon. I closed my eyes and willed myself to sleep. A few minutes later the slight comfort seemed to evaporate and the pain was back full force. Sheldon sat by my side and repeated his breathing mantra over and over again. I would have hit him in the throat if it wouldn't have taken too much effort.

Matt returned to find my situation the same. I once again begged for something stronger. Anything at all that would either knock me out of make the pain go away. At one point I think I screamed at him to do something but I can't remember fully what I said. He looked terrified and shuffled out of the room only to come back a few moments later with a doctor dressed in white.

"What seems to be the problem?" He asked foolishly. Before I could speak Sheldon did.

"She is in pain as you can see and all of your efforts seem to have failed. We require a stronger pain medication, one that will help her rest. You have her hooked up to monitors so if something were to happen with her breathing you would notice it right away unless you do not trust the staff monitoring these machines. I see no reason as to why you can not offer her comfort after her legs were ripped open and repaired." He doctor eyes Sheldon who's posture begged to be challenged.

"Matt, give her a dose of morphine IV. Keep an eye on her for the first five minutes then you may let her rest. I will not be doing this again." The doctor muttered as he walked out of the room. Matt pulled the vial from his scrub pocket as if he had been expecting this outcome all along but just needed the permission. He pushed the medicine into my IV and within a minute I felt the pain give way to a dizzy and fluffy world. I listened to Sheldon and Matt talk quietly as I drifted off to sleep.

The next morning I was awoken to nurses coming and offering me pills, blood thinning injections, and promises that the hospital's physical therapy department would be by to visit me to get my legs moving again. I couldn't believe they would try anything with me the day after surgery but who am I to not believe a doctor. Sheldon even seemed ok with the idea telling me that keeping my legs moving would keep blood clots from forming which could potentially kill me. Although when they showed up with the intentions of getting me out of bed he was less than thrilled. A new nurse followed them in and asked Sheldon to leave the room as they unhooked my catheter and turned off my oxygen.

I made a note to not piss this woman off. She was not pleasant. When she left and Sheldon had returned the two girls from the PT department told me how they wanted to move me. One on each side they slid me over to the side of the bed to let my legs dangle off the side. It sounded like a piece of cake until it actually happened. Moving my legs was nothing compared to the feel of them bending closer to a 90 degree angle. I screamed, loudly. Sheldon did the only thing he could think to do which was lower the bed so my feet could touch the ground and slid away from me. The therapists smiled gratefully at him as I continued crying in agony.

"Ok Penny, we want to try to get you to stand. Do you think you could try that. It will only be for a second." My head moved up and down on it's own. I didn't want to be weak. I wanted to be strong. They each grabbed my arms and helped me up. Before I could bare full weight on my legs my whole body gave way and my head became cloudy.

"I have to sit. I need to sit now." I demanded and they obediently obliged my request. They told me that I did well and they would let me get some rest. All they wanted to do was test the waters so to speak. See what I could do after my surgery. I thought they were some sick evil demons from hell sent to torture me.

Once I was back in my bed I felt exhaustion like I had never known. Sheldon paced the room not sure what to do.

"Sweetie, why don't you call Raj or Leonard to come get you and take you home for a bit. I'm going to rest." I told him. My eyes slipped closed before I could even finish the sentence.

"That seems acceptable if you will be ok?" He asked. I nodded with my eyes still closed and the sound of day time television hushed in the background. Sheldon left it on for me. The door closed quietly and sleep lulled me into it's warm embrace.

"Someone get the paddles! Her heart rate is dropping!"

"Penny, please wake up!"

"Why the hell is the oxygen off? Turn it on now!"

What it going on? I tried to open my eyes but they wouldn't budge. I felt a familiar hand on mine and I wanted to respond to the touch but I couldn't.

"Do something!"

"Wait! She's coming back!"

My strength returned and my eyes fluttered open to see Sheldon, two nurses, and a doctor surrounding my bed.

"What's going on?" I questioned.

"We thought we were losing you. We believe you suffered from a embolism. Basically, a blot clot in your legs traveled to your lungs." The doctor explained. "We are going to move you to a more monitored room and up your blood thinner." I could only agree. I was completely confused. Almost lost me? I turned to Sheldon as the others muddled around the room doing whatever they needed to do. The look on his eyes told me everything I needed to know.

I almost died and he was relieved that I was alive. A tear slipped down his cheek as the weight of the situation washed over me like a tidal wave.

**AN: There wasn't a lot of Shenny dialog but I didn't think it was needed. Again, it may all seem ridiculous but this is everything I went through post op. No happy morphine pump for me. Bastards.**


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Sorry I did not get to reply to reviews like I would have liked to. The holidays, a death in the family, and Thanksgiving 2 and 3... been kinda busy. Anyway.. here we go again and thanks for sticking with me.

SPOV

Penny had suggested that I go home and get cleaned up. I really didn't relish in the idea of leaving her but the thought of using a shower other than my own did fill me with discomfort. As I said before, I may not be a complete freak but one still has to worry about such things as athletes foot from an uncared for shower floor. That I could not tolerate.

Just as Penny seemed to drift off to sleep I stepped out into the hall and called Raj to see if he would come and pick me up. Of course he was more than willing to help in any way possible. He really was a good person but his over eagerness reminded me of a puppy ready to nip at your feet to try to play with you. I stood in the hall and watched the hustle and bustle of the staff going from room to room checking on people, making rounds, conversing in idle chit chat, and so on and wondered just how it was that I got here.

I was well aware of the day that Penny became a part of my life. My memory would never let me forget. However, what I was failing to remember was when Penny became such an important part of my life. I began to recall all of the times that she had been there for me when the others had failed to. She let me stay with her when I was locked out of my apartment. She took care of me when I was sick and my 'friends' went to see a movie marathon at the local cinema. She took me shopping for that horrible tuxedo that I ended up not wearing for most of the night. And she tried to help me date. But now that I think back on it, that relationship with Amy was doomed from the start because Penny was already there. She was already in her spot in me. Where that was, I'm not sure.

Feeling as though I had muddled through my thoughts as best I could with no foreseeable resolution to my conundrum I re-entered her room to wait for my ride. I noticed right away that something was a miss.

Her breathing was shallow and her monitors were off. Her face seemed pale. I walked over to touch her and her hands felt cold. I pressed my fingers to her neck to feel for her pulse and it was not normal. It seemed to beat only once every few seconds. Something was horribly wrong. My body jolted into action before my mind could catch up. I shook her body, pinched her arms, legs, hips anything trying to get a reaction out of her. There was nothing. I needed help.

I ran from her bedside and out of the door and shouted to anyone who would listen.

"Something is wrong! We need help in here now!" Nurses sprang into action and followed me back into her room to assess the situation. One nurse said to call her doctor while another turned on the monitors to reveal an alarmingly low heart rate and pulse ox. 35 BMP and 56% oxygen. Oh god.

There was a flurry of motion around me as people came and went. Her doctor came in yelling about her oxygen being turned off and a nurse hastily turned in back on. He ordered a defibrillator be brought in and I strangely recall hearing myself yell at her, demanding that she come to, wake up and yell back at me.

"What is happening?" I demanded. No one seemed to pay me any mind as they all rushed to her aide. All I could do way pray, to a god I do no believe in, that she would be ok. My mother would do this so why couldn't I? Because I am a man of science and my friend, my... Penny was dying.

"Wait! She's coming back!" Someone shouted. I looked over at the screens and things seemed to be normalizing. 75% oxygen and 65BPM and climbing. 80%, 90%, 92%. She was coming back. Her chest began to rise and fall with normal consistency. Then suddenly my body froze in terror. She let out a blood curdling scream. A scream of a person being tortured in a way no person should ever feel. Was this normal? I stepped back and looked at the shocked faces of the people around me.

And just as suddenly the screams stopped and her eyes fluttered open and asked, "What's going on?" as if nothing at happened. Her eyes were confused to see so many people around her and I wished I could forget, just as she had, that this had ever happened.

The doctor explained to her, to us, what happened and my hand reached for hers again and I felt a tear fall from my eyes. The idea of losing her was right up there with my mother or my Meemaw, I felt a pain I didn't know I could feel for someone who was not blood wash over me and I didn't care that I was showing emotion others normally wouldn't see. Penny was different. She saw me for who I was not who I pretended. So I wouldn't pretend for her anymore.

Everyone left the room and we were alone. She gripped my hand tighter and I sat down on the bed facing her. The ridiculous day time programming was still floating around the room but her eyes spoke louder than anything Dr. Phil or whoever it was had to say.

"Sheldon, I almost died?"

"Yes. I came back into your room to wait for Raj and noticed your breathing to be irregular. I can only assume when they unhooked you from your monitors after your therapy today they failed to hook them back up. You should be grateful I came back when I did." She reached up and wiped at the tear that fell from my eye and I didn't back away. I wanted her to touch me. I wanted to be reassured that she was still here.

"Thank you." She looked around at the monitors and watched as her actions changed the numbers on the screens. She seemed so fine with the fact that she nearly died. How could she be okay with this? I certainly was not.

"Penny, I do not think it wise that I leave you again."

"You can't stay here every hour of every day with me. They will watch me more closely. You have work to do." She was right.

"Yes, although there are some thing that I could do here others would require the space of my office. If, and only if, I am satisfied with your new location then will I consider leaving again. If not you will have a twenty four hour watch." She laughed at me. Suddenly her face turned serious.

"Please don't tell the others. I don't want to them to worry." I sighed heavily.

"I may not have the facial ticks that I claimed to accompany my inability to tell a lie I still have a strong disdain for lying. Growing up in a Christian Texas home one thing that is drilled into you from birth is honesty is everything. To lie is to sin. I can't not tell the others why you have been moved nor can I not tell them why your stay in the hospital will most certainly be extended. Although I won't tell Leonard. He will likely have to hear it from someone else."

"Sweetie, just leave out the part about me almost dying. Okay?" I nodded. I guess I could manage that. Just then her brows scrunched together as if she were deep in thought. "What happened between you and Leonard while I was in here?" I dropped her hand and stood up to stand in front of her bed.

"Leonard's emotional complexes were out of line. He tried to make this about him because he was not here with you and I was. I have had a lot of time to think about my friendship with Leonard and I am not entirely satisfied with the way things have been going these last few years. I have been working on a new roommate agreement for next quarter. I do not think he will be happy." I smirked. "Probably about as happy as Priya was when she was no longer then center of his attention." Penny laughed.

"I can't believe I was once jealous of what they had."

"I still can't believe that after years of proving him right over and over again he thought I would be wrong when I said you two never had a chance. Well, I guess he was right for a short period of time." I rested my hands on the end of the bed and leaned closer to her. "What were you thinking?" I had to ask. She sighed loudly and I regretted bringing up something that might upset her. Before I could dismiss my question she shocked me by answering.

"Most of the men that I had dated previously were dumb jock assholes that just wanted to get into my pants. I thought Leonard was different." She admitted sheepishly.

"Well the only one of those descriptions he doesn't fit is 'jock'. The first day we met you he claimed you for his own without any knowledge of who you were as a person or if you would make an ideal mate." I explained. I knew this wasn't news to her. Raj let it slip after a night of drinking.

"What did you think of me?" She asked through hooded eyes. I wanted so badly to answer her. Was it the time?

"Penny, shouldn't we discuss this later?" She looked hurt.

"There is no reason for you to hide from me. I've seen the differences in you that others overlook. I know when someone says something sexually inappropriate you blush slightly and not because you are annoyed. I know that when you think no one is looking you will eat peanut butter right out of the jar. And I know when you walked up the stairs when Leonard and I were kissing in the hallway you looked shocked and hurt. Regardless of the time or the place of the discussion it needs to happen."

"Everyone eats peanut butter out of the jar." I countered.

"Not 'Sheldon Cooper'" She said with those frustrating air quotations. I grunted and paced the small area in front of her bed.

"Four years with me and you can see what Leonard can not in seven. It's no wonder he's an awful physicist. Okay, if it will put an end to this discussion until you have your strength back then I will indulge you. When I first saw you I thought you were attractive. I was embarrassed to be seen with that bumbling fool of a roommate of mine and the repeated 'hi's. But I was still Crazy Sheldon Cooper so I pushed it aside rather than pushed him aside." She smiled. "After that I found that you were invading parts of my mind that I was not ready for you to be in. I was forced to condition myself to keep you out of my thoughts merely because you were pleasant to admire. It was wrong and I am ashamed of the lustful thoughts. So I trained my mind to keep you out. Then you began to spend more time with us. You began a part of the group. I began to see the kind of person you were. You were not put off by my crazy antics, quirks, or ticks like the others but challenged them. You were there for me when my friends were not. You aided my while I was sick and offered assistance whenever I needed it. You were a constant the others never seemed to want to be. You rarely ever turned me away unless I was trying to get you to do so. So I began to condition harder. I would focus on complex equations that had no merit to my work just to keep my mind off of you.

"I'm not the nearly the crazy theoretical physicist I claim to be and only do that to keep people away. The effects of the experiment backfired with you. Raj is the only other person that knows about any of this. I figured since I knew I would be having the conversation again in the near future I hypothesized that I would need to rehearse the conversation. Given the people in my life, Howard only here because of Bernadette's concern for you and Leonard trying desperately to make the situation about himself, Raj seemed like the obvious choice. He's actions have always indicated a strong emotional attachment to his friends and the need for acceptance so I was not concerned about telling him. However, looking back it would have made sense to tell someone unbiased. Maybe my barber but I'm not due for a hair cut anytime soon and given the circumstances I don't believe it would be appropriate." She listened intently. Her eyes were clear and focused and not glassy and confused as they had been only moments ago. I wondered how much of this she would remember.

"Basically, what I am getting at is that you were more important to me than I wanted you to be. And when you saw me outside of my normal persona and tried your own experiment I was terrified. I had every intention of trying to push you at arms length but just needed to figure out how. Then I got the message from Leonard about the accident and everything vaporized. The lies, the cover ups, the need to keep you away. It didn't matter anymore. My reaction to what happened told me everything I needed to know." She was crying slightly.

"And what is that?" She asked, her voice hitching slightly. The door opened before I could respond. I don't even know what I was going to say. What I going to say that I loved her? Was I going to tell her I needed her?

"I'm sorry but I need to ask you to leave. We need to try to get her to use the bathroom and then we will be moving her." She looked alarmed.

"And just how am I going to go to the bathroom?" She demanded. The nurse held up a bedpan and smiled sadly. "Oh, god." She whispered. She looked at me for comfort but I could offer none. "I don't want you to be here for this." I nodded.

"I'll be outside. I need to make another call to Raj anyway. I will not be leaving as planned." I bowed my head slightly and stepped out of her door just to the right. It was cracked so I could hear everything. I dialed Raj's number and he answered promptly.

"I'm almost there, dude. What's up?"

"There has been a change of plans." I heard her scream out. They were lifting her lower half trying to assist her as best they could. "I'm staying here."

"What happened?" His voice sounded honestly concerned.

"There were complications and her breathing was slightly compromised. They are moving her to a more closely watched unit to avoid any further events but until I am satisfied with everything I will not be leaving her. However, I do need to speak to a few people in this current department so I need you to stay with her. You are the only person I would trust to do so and her father will be here soon but not soon enough. These matters need to be dealt with now." Raj let out of a nervous laugh.

"I know you're different but you're not going to try to kill anyone are you?"

"Oh, dear lord Rajesh. I'm not even going to answer that question. Can I rely on you to stay with Penny or not?"

"Yes, I'll be there soon." He hung up the phone and I waited for her to be wheeled out of her room. Her new one was only a few doors down. My confidence was not rising at all. I had a feeling I would be here for the next week or so whether I wanted to be or not. I looked at the text messages on my phone.

_Penny's dad will be arriving at LAX at 6pm. I'll bring him straight to the hospital. I assume I will be able to see her. _

We'll see, Leonard. We'll see. I watched though the window of her new door as they hooked everything up properly and dialed the number to the super of our building. That elevator would need to be fixed immediately.

**AN: Things will start to pick up after the next probably two chapters. I have a few more things I want to put in here and then it'll be life getting back to normal... well... the new normal. **


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Once again, thank you everyone for your support with this story. It means a lot to me get the feedback and I greedily love it. You guys are my support and therapy! (No pressure of course haha) A few more chapters then this will start to move a long much more quickly. **

PPOV

Once I was settled into my new room I watched Sheldon move about in a blur of motion. He came in while on the phone with someone and checked the monitors and oxygen to make sure everything was functioning properly. He left the room again as his conversation became a rather heated argument. It sounded like he was talking to the building super about the elevator. I heard him ask just how I was supposed to walk up four flights of stairs in my condition. I had no doubt that the elevator would be working when I made it home.

Left alone to my thoughts with only small interruptions of Sheldon popping in and checking on me like a concerned parent I drifted back to our conversation before they moved me. I was overwhelmed by just how different he really was and just how much he was capable of caring. I knew he was, in his own way, normal. I never believed the extent of the complaints- mainly from Leonard- about Sheldon's behavior. When I witnessed them myself I saw holes immediately. Call it street smarts or whatever you want but I am a damn good judge of character.

What shocked me more was the effort he put into keeping me out. I didn't realize that I had that kind of hold over Sheldon Cooper. I knew that he relied on me when he couldn't turn to the guys and that he let me into aspects of his life that no one else knew. But what does that mean? What did he learn from this? He said his reaction told him everything he needed to know.

And when would I get a chance to ask him again?

Another nurse swept in the room, took my vitals, handed me a few pills and offered to re-fill my hospital issue mug with water. I graciously accepted the pills and water. I just wanted to sleep. I wanted to wake up at home and see that nothing had happened. So far nothing of the sort had happened. I closed my eyes and willed sleep to come. The door opened and closed again and I heard muffled whispers. It sounded like Raj was here but I couldn't open my eyes. I was too tired.

A hand touched mine gently and I flinched slightly, the only movement I could muster, to let Sheldon know I was fine. The hand retracted and I was asleep again.

I awoke several hours later to see the sun beginning to set through the large open windows in my room. I squinted against it and turned away from them hoping to avoid a migraine. My actions were noticed and the blinds were immediately lowered. A content sigh escaped my lungs and I turned to look for Sheldon. Instead I was met by the concerned eyes of my father.

"Dad? When did you get here?" He walked over to me and took my hand.

"Hey slugger. I just got here a few hours ago. Leonard picked me up from the airport around 6. You looked so relaxed that we didn't want to wake you. How are you feeling?"

"Sore. I wish I could move but it hurts too much." I admitted. I looked around the room again to find it was just us. "Where is Sheldon?"

"I believe he's down in the cafeteria. He and Leonard started arguing and I made them leave. I was worried they would wake you up. Do you need me to find a nurse? They said you had been asleep for some time. I'm sure you due some kind of medication." I shook my head no and hit the call button on my bed.

"What were they fighting about?" My dad let go of my hand and slumped down in the chair next to me and sighed heavily. I could see the tension he was carrying and his eyes showed me the internal debate he was fighting. I could always read my father like a book.

"Leonard is hurt that he hasn't been here with you. I thought you two were close?"

"We are friends. That is all. I know you want me to be with someone smart but Leonard is not that guy, dad, trust me. He's an idiot when it comes to relationships. Sheldon has been with me and... I don't know, I think I prefer it that way." My dad laughed.

"The guy is a few screws short of a park bench. But if he's looking after my little girl then I'm not complaining." I smiled at the silly reference. His face sobered. "What happened, slugger? Leonard only told me that you wrecked a few blocks from your apartment during a storm and hit a tree."

"I'm not sure, actually. One minute I was headed home and a second later I was hydroplaning across the road. I tried so hard to remember everything you taught me about how to right the car but it didn't work." I felt tears fall. "Then I hit the lamp post. I remember thinking that was all it was going to be and how Sheldon would be so disappointed in me." I smirked through my tears. "But the car went right through the post and into the tree behind it. It wasn't as forgiving as you can see." I tried to be strong. He needed me to be strong.

Dad started to say something but he was interrupted.

"Why would I be disappointed in you?" Of course, Sheldon Cooper would choose this moment to come back. Leonard snuck in behind him and offered a small wave. I threw my head back and groaned but a smile played on my lips.

"I was wearing flip flops."

"Please do us all a favor and stop wearing them at once. I was only joking when I said I didn't want to become another flip flop fatality but you almost did." He scolded but my grin never left my face.

"I'm assuming I'm missing something here." My dad stated.

"Join the club." Leonard muttered from the couch he plopped himself down in. Sheldon began to recite the flip flop conversation to my dad and I heard a "here we go" come from Leonard. When Sheldon finished his rant my dad laughed. I smiled to the men in the room innocently.

"How long are you going to be in town, dad?"

"Well, I figured I'd stay as long as I'm needed. I know there is no way I am getting you back to Nebraska in your condition. Oh, that reminds me. Where are you going to stay once you get out of the hospital? You can't get up the stairs to your apartment."

"At her home, of course. I called the super and informed him of the situation and was able to convince him finally repair the elevator." Sheldon answered for me. I didn't want to ask how he 'convinced' our super to get off his ass and fix it. I was just glad I could go home.

"How long will that take?" Dad asked.

"A few days I would assume. The explosion did cause a lot of damage." Dad's questioning eyes went unanswered.

"How long are they keeping you here, Penny?" Leonard asked meekly.

"They haven't said-" before I could finish my sentence a nurse came into the room smiling brightly.

"Oh, good you are awake! I'm Beth, I'll be watching over you tonight." I heard Sheldon snort and shot him a glare. "What can I get you?" She asked as she pressed buttons on the monitors to stop the alert I had almost forgotten I'd pressed.

"I'm starting to hurt is there anything I can take?" I asked bashfully. She clicked away at the bedside computer.

"Yep, I'll go get you something right now. Do you need anything else?" She was nice and in normal circumstances I might have enjoyed her company but I just really wanted her to leave. But my dad had other ideas.

"Well, can you answer a question for me? I'm her father." Beth nodded. "We were just wondering how long she would be in the hospital. No one had told her." He eyed Sheldon to confirm the information.

"Well, it's hard to tell. Normally its a few days and then she would be moved to a rehabilitation center. However, due the scare earlier today she'll probably be here at least a week. We want her breathing on her own without support." My eyes widened and I saw Sheldon's posture stiffen. She looked us over and realized her mistake. "I'm going to go get those medications now." She darted out of the room with her hand on her mouth.

"What scare? You can't breathe on your own?" Leonard demanded, his voice rising. I rolled my eyes at his dramatics.

"It was nothing I didn't want to alarm anyone. Sheldon was there and everything is fine." I pulled the cord from my face for emphasis. "See, I'm fine." I spat. But I started to feel dizzy almost immediately. Sheldon walked over to the other side of my bed closer to the monitors watching them closely.

"Honey, you should have told us." Dad said sympathetically. He didn't hear the beeping getting louder. Was that just me?

"And since when you did become the knight in shining armor anyway, Sheldon? Why are you doing this? What personal gain could you hope to achieve from all of this?" Leonard whined.

"Penny?" Sheldon bent down and gently placed the tubes back up to my nose and I felt the cold air again. "Take a deep breath, slow and even." I nodded and did as he instructed. The beeping stopped and two nurses rushed in. My dad's grip on my hand tightened.

"What happened?" One demanded. Beth was behind her looking equally concerned, pills in hand.

"She was provoked and her overwhelming need to prove everyone wrong saw to it that she pulled her oxygen tubes away from her face. Her stats dropped instantly." This seemed to upset the nurse more.

"I think it's about time visiting hour's end. Everyone needs to leave and let her rest." They brought a dinner tray closer to me but I felt my stomach churn before I even knew what it was. Beth handed me the pills and I swallowed them quickly and laid my head back down. The older nurse, Teresa, was herding the boys and my dad out of the room.

"Let Sheldon stay." I whispered to Beth. I felt worried without him here. He picked up on this others did not. He knew what the beeping was, and he took care of me again. A tear slipped out, yet again, unwillingly. She nodded and walked out into the hall with the others. A few moments later Sheldon reappeared and began setting up his new bed on the long couch in my room. At least I wouldn't have to hear about the Tall Man from Cornwall.

"Leonard is taking your father back to stay at your apartment. They will be back in the morning." He informed me without prompt.

"I'm glad he's here." I murmured. Sheldon gave me a credulous look. I knew what he was getting at. "My dad, of course. I don't know what Leonard's issues are but I would like a chance to speak to him alone."

"I don't recommend that in your current state. I will fill you in as best you can. As you know when you moved in Leonard marked his territory like a wolf. It was rather disturbing. Anyway, because he is not helping you through this crisis and you have chosen to have me by your side and not him he is jealous over this. He made mention of not caring what Priya thought. That man is clueless. His need to make everything about himself is astounding." He finished placing the blankets and pillows down and took the chair next to me where my father had been. "You should eat." He gestured to the tray.

"Would you eat that?" I asked as I scrunched my nose up at it. I didn't feel like thinking about Leonard's complex issues right now. Hell, his mother didn't even really know- how could I ever figure it out? He flinched.

"Absolutely not. I will make sure you are provided with something more acceptable tomorrow."

"Honestly, sweetie I don't think I could eat anything. The thought of food makes me feel ill." I admitted. Sheldon nodded knowingly.

"That would be the medication you are on. Narcotics can cause one to lose ones appetite often upsetting the stomach. I suppose that is why junkies are so skinny." He mused. I giggled.

"Well, we all know that's not why you're so skinny." He smiled, actually smiled at me. Not one of those freaky Sheldon smiles and not a condescending one, either. It took me a second to recover. "You think coffee is a drug." A hospital worker stepped in and looked at my tray of untouched food.

"Is there anything that you would like to request for tomorrow?" She asked, taking out a pen and paper like a waitress.

"Maybe a sandwich or something light?" I thought that couldn't hurt.

"Soup would be better." I know my face paled.

"Something light, nothing liquid. I'll try to eat what I can." I told her. She nodded and took my tray and walked out of the room closing the door behind her. We sat in an uncomfortable silence. I channel surfed and he flipped through a science magazine he pulled from his bag. Finally curiosity got the best of me. "What did this make you figure out?" He dropped his magazine and looked at me for a moment.

"I've thought about how I would answer that since we were interrupted over and over again today. The best answer I could come up with was that the idea of losing you was more terrifying than anyone seeing through me could ever be. No matter how hard I tried to not care for you, I do." He admitted. Ok, I was not expecting that. Or was I? I felt smothered under his gaze and looked away; back to the TV I wasn't paying attention to, the whiteboard on the wall with the names of the people working my room tonight, the bathroom door across from my bed, anything but his gaze. "Penny, I apologize for making you uncomfortable. I did try." He whispered. My eyes snapped back to him. Yet another lie coming to the surface; he can read people.

"I'm not uncomfortable. I just don't know what to say. I've always felt that you meant more to me than you should. I would always worry about you more than the others but I didn't know if it was because of how you acted or how people seemed to take advantage of you. I've always known that you could fend for yourself if you needed to but I've felt the need to protect you as well." I hoped I sounded convincing.

"You are uncomfortable. The changes in your posture and your hesitation to look at me tell me that you are uncomfortable. You are almost as bad at lying as I am. However, I would prefer that we not spend time talking about this anymore while we are focusing on your recovery. If you wish to continue this conversation in a much more appropriate setting then I will be happy to oblige." He stated flatly putting an end to it just like that. I could press on, sure, but did I have the strength? Not right now.

"Can you help me get comfortable?" I asked quietly. I knew my lower lip was probably pouty but I was ashamed to ask him for anything. After everything he has already done. He stood at once and asked what he could do. I adjusted the bed to raise my legs and asked him to put pillows under my knees again. It was painful and there was a lot of trial and error. Left leg turned outward and propped up from the side and right leg straight and flexed at the knee seemed to work the best and I watched him memorize this positioning to try it again later.

"Get some rest, Penny." He whispered. I nodded and my eyes closed again. I damned the fact that all I wanted to do was sleep but knew it would be best. The more rest I got the more things would make sense. The more I would be up to talking to my dad, seeing my friends more, dealing with Leonard and getting answers out of these doctors as to what my treatment plan would be. There would be time to think about all of that later.

As I started to drift off I felt lips ghost across my forehead and finger rub down my cheek. My last conscious thought was- he loves me.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: First of all I am so sorry it took me to long to update. I can't even begin to tell you how crazy things have been this past week. I hope it do not go this long between posts again but I can't promise anything. My responsibility at work has doubled and it's really pressuring me to prove what I'm worth so I'm really focusing on that. And it figures when I get home to write the inspiration seems to vanish. **

**Also, I am very sorry I have not responded to any of the reviews. That doesn't mean that I don't love them and they make my day when I get them. I'm going to do better... promise that! **

**Anyway, enjoy. **

SPOV:

REM sleep was not an option in a progressive ICU unit. Once Penny was asleep and I was finished with the odds and ends equations on my laptop I settled down on the couch to sleep. As soon as my eyes closed the door opened and a nurse came in to check Penny's vitals. She was awakened and asked to give a blood sample, temperature, and blood pressure. The nurse closed the door and Penny slumbering again instantly. I lay back down and drifted off to sleep.

Two hours later we were reawakened for the same process, blood and all. I couldn't help but wonder why they were doing blood tests so frequently but didn't ask. Penny didn't care though. She would wake up long enough to allow them to poke at her and then drift back off into her wonderland. This continued until her breakfast was brought in at 7AM precisely and two doctors swayed into her room.

"Good morning, Penny. How did you sleep?" I tried to stifle my laugh but was unable to. Penny glared at me and the doctors turned my way.

"One could hardly call being woken up every two hours 'sleep'. That is more like napping." I muttered bitterly. One of the doctors laughed.

"A frequent complaint among patients and guests a like." Penny smiled at the doctor as she forced her glare off of me.

"It was fine. But, why did they keep taking my blood last night?" She pondered as she raised her bed to meet them eye to eye so to speak. I edged closer to the edge of the couch in anticipation of this answer. The reasons I could think of were all troubling and I was hoping it was nothing more than procedure.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I asked that they run a CBC last night to see where your blood cell count was after the surgery and the events of yesterday afternoon. It was alarmingly low. The next tests were better but not by much. We want to continue taking blood to repeat the tests today in four hour intervals beginning after you have eaten something and if it is not where it should be by this evening we'll need to give you a transfusion."

"Why would it be low?" She asked.

"Well it could be a number of things but if it has not righted itself after the transfusion we might want to consider there is bleeding from the surgery. That being said," He lifted the sheets and looked over Penny's legs. They were bandaged from hip to ankle. He slipped a finger under the ends of the bandages, top and bottom, and I saw her flinch at the contact and look puzzled at the same time. "You're legs are not swollen more than they should. I'm not concerned about it and I think we should be able to get it regulated if it doesn't sort itself out."

"I couldn't feel that." She whispered so softly I wondered if the doctors even heard her. I stood up to get a closer look at what she was staring at. She was playing with the top of the bandage below her right hip.

"Couldn't feel what?" Dr. Michaels, as his nametag said, asked.

"When you touched me here," she pointed again to that spot, "I didn't feel anything. I felt what I should have felt, if that makes sense?" She tried to explain and her brows creased in confusion. She was pulling at the bandage like it was a string on a shirt that needed to come off. I touched her hand and stilled her movements.

"Oh!" He smiled. "That is normal. When we put the rods in your femurs we had to secure them with screws." He walked up to her again and on both legs pointed to her upper thigh just below the hip, "Here," He moved to the outer side of her left thigh, "Here," and finally to the outer side of both of her knees, "And here. It's possible there was some nerve damage and that is why the area is numb. I wouldn't be shocked if you do not have numbness in one or both of your knees when we remove the bandages. It was a pretty invasive surgery." He explained as if it were nothing. I've never been a violent man but I've never wanted to hit someone as badly as I do him right now.

"Forgive me for not mimicking your smile, Dr. Michaels, but I fail to see how this is so causal to you. You explain nerve damage as if it's exciting. However, truth be told, you have no idea if it is permanent or if this is something that will go away over time. I wouldn't be proud to tell someone I didn't know something and I find it appalling that you've done so twice since you walked in the door. First about the reason for her cell count and then again for the nerve damage, I have to wonder what medical training you have." I knew I was out of line- this is the pretend Sheldon- but the pretend Sheldon and the real Sheldon need to know that she is ok and this man is doing nothing to comfort either of us.

"I'm sorry, Mr.?" The doctor scowled. I returned it happily.

"Dr. Sheldon Cooper." I didn't bother with the degrees.

"Dr. Cooper, I can assure you that every precaution is being taken to make sure your," he glanced at the chart in front of him, "girlfriend is being taken care of quiet sufficiently. I can also tell you the medical science is nothing more than a guess until research is available to prove it either correct or incorrect. You should know that." The intern behind him shuffled his feet side to side like a puppy needing to go to the bathroom and Penny kept her eyes on her legs seemingly un-phased by this conversation.

"As a physicist I understand but as a person on the other side I would appreciate it if you did not flaunt your lack of knowledge in front of us and expect us to buy it like a cheap loaf of rotten bread. Next time have the courtesy to have answers and respect for your patients otherwise we'll get along about as well as Dr. Richards in the ER and I did. You can ask him about my lecture on his rudeness." I felt I had said my piece and returned my attention to Penny. She still seemed oblivious to the world around her. "Penny?" She looked up at me with glazed eyes.

"Yes, well please see that she eats. We'll be back to check on her this evening." He turned on his heal and left the room, his intern hot on his trail.

"That was uncalled for." She murmured.

"I don't believe so. He had no idea what he was talking about and did so in an unprofessional manner. I believe it was completely called for." A part of me agreed with her but that would never be made public knowledge.

"It's so strange to not be able to feel part of your leg." She stuck her finger under the top of the bandage and winced. "Found the staples." She said with a smirk.

"Well leave it alone before it gets infected. And eat something." I pulled her tray over to her and took a look at the pathetic excuse for a meal they provided. I decided the eggs and bacon were not made for consumption by any living thing and pour the milk into a small bowl and dumped a bowl of corn flakes into it. I handed her the spoon and she took it and nibbled on a few small spoon fulls before setting it aside and laying her head back.

"When is my dad coming back?" She asked flatly. I looked over my text messages and only had two. One from Howard and one from Raj.

_How's she doing? –_Howard

_I'm bringing her dad by around 10. Leonard doesn't want to get into another fight. He said he will come when you leave. _–Raj

I typed a quick reply to both and asked Raj to tell Leonard he could expect to talk to her again when she was home. I had no intention of leaving her. I turned to her and informed her of the arrival plans.

A nurse popped her head into the room with a glowing smile. She was in her late thirties with short brown hair and a clear complexion. Her eyes told the story of long hours and hard cases but her smile was warm and welcoming after that deplorable doctor.

"Good, you're awake!" She walked over and checked all the leads attached to Penny and eyed the breakfast tray and the barely half eaten bowl of cereal. "My name is Debbie, I'll be taking care of you for the next few days. I'm on day shift in this ward the rest of the week. How are you feeling?"

"Very sore and I really need to use the bathroom." She looked terrified at the thought and I could only imagine that something as simple as evacuating your bladder in this condition could be tremendously difficult.

"Ok, let me get someone to help us." She stepped out into the hall and came back with a man in his late forties with a gruff look like someone who had served in the military. "This is Rodney. Don't let him fool you. He's as gentle as a kitten. He just looks mean." She joked.

"I resemble that remark!" He retorted sounded hurt. Penny laughed at them both. I shuffled to the door to give Penny her privacy and she gave me an appreciative smile as I slipped out the door. I heard them talking to her about how she should try to lift herself. She decided she would use the bar above the bed to pull herself up and they could… do what they needed to do. A few seconds later she screamed but Debbie and Rodney congratulated her on her accomplishment.

Was this to become my life? Giving praise for menial tasks, taking care of her when others fail to, and standing up for her when she is too weak to do so herself? Could I live with this? Could I uproot my whole facade and allow myself to be more with her? Would she even want that? My cell phone vibrated in my pocket and I recognized the number as one of the Universities lines.

"Hello." I slumped against the wall suddenly finding that my strength was faltering.

"Dr. Cooper, its Dr. Gablehauser. I understand from Dr. Hofsteder that there has been an accident involving a close friend and you will be needing time off work." I was stunned that Leonard had thought to tell the University. I, myself, though working when I could, hadn't bothered to think about notifying them of my absence.

"Yes, that is correct."

"I'm sorry for the circumstances but take whatever time you need. To be honest, the staff has been much happier that you have been out the past two days." He tried to joke but even I knew it was forcing it. He truly was sorry that someone I obviously cared enough about to miss work was hurt.

"Thank you." I responded and ended the call. Just then a text message came in. "Oh good lord! Now I am the social hotspot? When will it end?" I shouted to no one in particular. Others in the hallway looked at me strange. They probably thought I was one Lego short of a Death Star but I didn't care. _My mother had me tested. _ As I used to say.

_Her dad found her phone in the car! _

Penny should be pleased to hear that. She hadn't mentioned it but I'm sure she didn't want to worry about getting a new one. The door to her room opened again and Debbie announced that she was going to get her pain medication and will be back in a little bit. Rodney said that a phlebotomist would be in shortly to draw more blood now that she had eaten something. He gave a brief nod in my direction and I re-entered the room.

"Sheldon?" Her voice sounded small and broken. It was alarming how much it hurt to hear her like this. I walked over to her bed and sat down in the chair next to it waiting for her to continue. "What am I going to do?"

"I'm assuming you are referring to this current situation to which I can only recommend that you do what you need to do to get better." I responded matter of factly.

"Am I strong enough to do this?" She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. This I was never good with. I knew it was inevitable that she would cry and I would have to comfort her but I really did not have much experience with it. My hands absently pulled at my pants as I thought of soothing words. There, There would not be appropriate this time. I stood up, finding more nerve then I thought I had, and sat down gingerly on the side of the bed. She moved her upper body to give me more room and flinched at the pain the movement caused. I should feel guilty but I needed to be close to her.

"From the first day I met you I've always viewed you as an incredibly strong willed person who always gets whatever she wants in life or at least fights to the end for it. I've admired your pursuit of a dream that will likely, even before this accident, never happen just because of the level of perfection Hollywood deems appropriate is a goal not many normal people can achieve. That is not to impugn your acting ability, before you assume that I have insulted you." I stopped and smirked at her and watched her face tighten and relax. I couldn't stop myself from running my fingers down her cheek and resting them on her bruised shoulder.

"Out of everyone in our group you have always been the strongest. You assumed a motherly role over us without even noticing and regarded us as friends when most people wouldn't. You fought for us and we were drawn to you. Not because we had someone to stand up for us but because we were not used to someone so strong willed. It was a challenge to be around you every day. I personally enjoyed every interaction we've had because it's shown me a glimpse into something so rare I could compare it to understanding string theory. Not many people understand it nor do they get the privilege to contribute to it." Tears slipped down her eyes but I knew I was getting this right.

"I believe that whatever obstacle you are presented with you will be able to overcome it regardless of it's level of difficulty. You will over come this. It will take months to recover if not a year to fully, but you will do it. Now, enough weeping." I pulled my hand from her shoulder reluctantly. My fingers tingled at the residual feeling of her flesh under my fingertips much like it did when I touched her last night. I looked at her and realized she was also watching my hand.

"Sheldon, that was possibly the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. You have to understand my shock that it is coming from you." She whispered.

"Why would you be shocked? You've suspected I wasn't who I claimed to be."

"Yes, but I am only just now seeing this side of you fully. I like it." She reached out and took hold of my hand. "Thank you." She brought my hand up to her face and cupped it around her cheek. Her eyes closed and her head turned into the touch she was initiating. I just watched her, fearing if I moved the moment would be over. Her eyes opened and met mine. The fear gone and replaced with contempt and something else... Keeping her eyes locked on mine she turned and kissed my palm and I felt fire shoot through my arm to my shoulder, down my chest, and settle into my stomach. It was a simple but intimate gesture but my heart was racing.

The moment was broken by the deafening sound of someone clearing their throat. My head snapped to the door to find Raj and Wyatt standing uncomfortably. I could see in my peripheral vision that Penny was not embarrassed but her face seemed to light up.

"Hey, Dad, Raj!" She smiled and dropped my hand but didn't let go. It was as if she were claiming me. I really had no idea what to do though I was anything but panicky.

Penny and her father talked about how he found her phone in the car and his eyes teared up as he told her how he crawled through the mangled wreckage to retrieve it. I pulled my hand free and offered a small smile and walked form her room, Raj hot on my heals, mainly, I'm sure, because he could not participate in the conversation himself. As soon as her door closed Raj laughed. I looked at him quizzically.

"Dude, she wants you!" He laughed again in disbelief. "She must really be drugged."

"She has yet to have been given any medication this morning and slept through the night and was not given anything since the night before. She is not under any influence." I argued.

"What are you going to do?" He sobered and asked sincerely. I thought about it for a moment.

"I've always been so sure about everything, every moment in my life is planned, organized, and categorized. Since I met her I've asked myself that same question over and over again. Mostly the question was directed at feelings I wanted desperately to suppress. Now, I find myself faced with deciding how I can be... more to her." I stopped and ran my hand down my face. "I've never tried to not hide. This is new to me." Raj laughed again.

"Welcome to love, man. It makes you do things you wouldn't normally do." I wanted to comment on his statement but the effort to ridicule him was to much as the truth of his words sunk down and weighed down my chest. I sighed heavily.

"So I love her?" I questioned. Raj gave me a knowing look and I rephrased myself. "I love her." The weight was gone. So that's what that saying feels like.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: I don't really have the time to write this but I found myself having a few really rough days this week so I needed to get into my own personal therapy. I had to drive to another city and the drive back caused a panic attack that had all but vanished since I started writing this so I figure this could only help. I had to drive up two more times and I was ok up but couldn't drive back. Thankfully a friend of mine drove for me. It's still a struggle but it's getting better with all the support I have in life and here. It's awesome. **

**On that note, I want to let you know how much I appreciate everyone's feedback from the reviews, favs, and alerts. It really does mean the world to me to see the e-mails come in. So thank you. Everyone. **

**I didn't re-read this like I usually do so if there are a ton of typos I'm sorry I was just trying to get this out as soon as possible! **

**On with the story... **

SPOV:

The day seemed to slip by without me even knowing it. Howard and Bernadette arrived a few hours after her father and Raj arrived. I only left her room to go home and shower and collect a few things required for my morning rituals. I was satisfied with leaving her with Bernadette, Howard, and her father. Surely if something we to go wrong one of the three should pick up on it. As it turns out, Penny did need a transfusion and was left with little energy that caused her to sleep a majority of the day. That, coupled with the day's activities and the 'girl chatter' was too much for her. When I returned a short time later she had been sleeping for about thirty minutes and did not wake for close to two hours later.

This left me with little choice but to participate in small talk with her father. As she slept her father whispered his own Spanish Inquisition.

"Sheldon, I need to ask you something." Wyatt began. I looked up from my laptop resting in my lap and peered over at him expectantly. "I've heard a little bit about you. Mostly from Leonard, actually." I flinched and closed the laptop and set it aside. What horrible things did my roommate have to say about me? What horrible things had I made him say about me?

"Go on." I urged.

"From what I've heard you're not the kind of person to take care of another. You would rather sacrifice your best friend for your work. I know you don't date and you're not the easiest person to live with." He smiled and looked back at his daughter, who shifted ever so slightly in her sleep. "She tells me you are quirky but you are a good friend. She has told me about how you have helped her when she was in a tough financial situation, drove her to the hospital when she dislocated her shoulder even though you do not have a drivers license, you've tried to teach her about your, or rather, Leonard's work when she asked you to, and more importantly, she's told me everything you have done for her since the accident."

"These are not questions but merely statements." He laughed.

"Yeah, I've also heard you're impatient as well." He rubbed his face and then both palms together. He almost seemed nervous. "I'm getting to it, I promise." His eyes locked onto mine and the smile faded from his lips.

"The men she has dated in the past have always been after one thing. I am a man, I know what men want. I'm not blind that my daughter is very beautiful woman and she hasn't always made the best decisions. She could date people like the ones she's been with here in Nebraska; idiots with no future. But then she met you and Leonard and began a relationship with you and your friends. She began a relationship with Leonard and I was thrilled to think that she might be with someone who could better her as a person and someone who could look at her beyond her appearance. Since I've been here I see that Leonard never could see beyond her features. He saw her as all those other morons did only with a doctorate.

"Now, don't get me wrong, he cares about her and as a father that is all I can ask for. Someone that will not take advantage of her and treat her right. Someone to be a good friend to her and offer help when she needs it and help them when they- he needs it. It seemed to be a nice balance and I was at one point pulling for them to be together."

"Yes, I remember that. The ruse kept me up almost all night revising our roommate agreement." I grimaced.

"What are your intentions?" He bluntly asked. I looked back at him, shock surely registering on my face. Before I could answer he continued. "I hear conflicting information about you. I hear that your crazy, work driven, and self absorbed. But I also hear that you are thoughtful and kind and I'm more inclined to believe that than I am anything else. That little blond girl, Bernadette, wouldn't stop gushing about how cute you were acting."

"Well, she couldn't speak to what she's heard as she has not been here to see first hand." I countered.

"Raj has and he gossips more than Penny does." Well, he had me there. "Plus, I've seen and heard things myself. So I ask you again, what are your intentions?"

"Well, you are correct on a few things. One, I do not date. I find the idea of dating to be a distraction that one in my profession and with my goals that can not be afforded. I would put my work before anything else." I looked meaningfully at Penny. "Except when it comes to her." I was surprised to hear the words slip out of my mouth. I looked over at Wyatt who's whole body had shifted to face me expectantly, begging me to go on. I sighed and wondered how many people this situation would force me to have this conversation with.

"When she first moved in I was attracted to her but Leonard beat me to the punch so to speak. As it was, I was not looking to be involved with anyone. Soon, she became a part of our lives and she was involved with everyone from dinners to game nights, she was there. Each time she got closer I had to try harder to keep her away from me. I'm a scientist and I needed to be able to focus on work and the breakthroughs, however miniscule they might have been, that would lead me closer to a Noble Prize. However, when I needed her for anything she seemed to be willing to drop anything to help me. She even took me on this ridiculous date with a woman Raj and Howard set me up with through from dating website. Everywhere I seemed to turn she was there and she saw past who I pretended to be and saw me for who I was. No one, other than my Meemaw, has been able to do that. No one has cared enough to. I want to show her the same courtesy she has shown me and I do not trust the people in this hospital to take care of her the way she needs to be taken care of."

"Is that why she has an endless supply of tabloids and gossip magazines?" He chuckled pointing to the large stack of meaningless reading material on her bedside tray.

"Oh, heavens no. That was Raj. Though I might have suggested it. I have no idea what to look for when it comes to that hokum." I was silent for a moment considering my next words and I assume he believed I was finished speaking.

"So you want to take care of her to return a favor?" He asked. Skepticism dripped from every word.

"Not exactly. I suppose she deserves someone who 'cares for her' as you put it to be there for her through this. Breaking both legs is not something you can just bounce back from and who else could we trust to make sure her needs are met both here and at home. I was notified earlier today that they began working on the elevator in our apartment complex. When I mentioned it to Leonard the day you arrived he had not even considered that to be a potential problem."

"So, I don't need to worry about her anymore than I need to?" His voice was hopeful.

"She is strong. She will do most of the work on her own. But guidance and assistance will be given when required. I do not believe you need to worry about her." I concluded realizing I didn't actually answer his question. What I really wanted to say is that I would take care of her. But those words sounded foreign to me. He relaxed and turned back to her bed to watch her sleep.

"I'm glad she has you in her life. All of you, really." We didn't speak again until she woke. I returned to my work and he dozed in the oversized recliner next to her. The hospital staff wondered in and out but were careful to not wake her. Finally, around five pm she woke. She stretched her body and instantly regretted it.

"You really need to be more careful." She smiled weakly.

"How long have I been out?" She ignored my scolding.

"A few hours. How are you feeling?" Wyatt's hand was nearing the call button.

"Stiff. I would give anything to walk around." She gave another fake smile and I saw the sadness in her eyes. They met mind in a wordless plea to help her move. Without waiting for the words I stood and pulled pillows out and moved her legs in ways that were comfortable for her in the past. Her father critiqued my every move. She sighed and turned her hips to take the pressure off of her coccyx. "Oh, that is so much better. Thank you, sweetie." I gave her a polite nod and sat back down. She studied me as I did so, her father's presence was ignored.

"You know you don't have to stay here all the time. I know you have work to do."

"Yes, I know that and yes I do have work to do. That is why I have my laptop open and I am currently writing a paper regarding my recent experiment on the Higgs Boson Particle. The University has been quite understanding about the circumstances and has allowed me to take time off work. As you know, I'm never not working so I might as well work here while you sleep than back at the apartment with Leonard and all his inane questions." I glanced over at Wyatt, "Though I'm starting to think home might be better." He smirked at me.

"Dad, you haven't been bothering Sheldon have you?" She whined, finally acknowledging him.

"It's a father's duty. Besides, I have to go back to work in a few days so I am flying back home tomorrow. I just needed to know that my little slugger was going to be ok." He tapped her hand and gently held it.

"Forgive me, but I don't believe that nickname is endearing to her. I've heard on numerous-" Penny shot me a look telling me to shut up immediately. "Never mind." I turned my eyes back to my paper.

"It's fine, dad." She whispered to an unasked question. Before their conversation could continue a nurse popped in with a tray of food. I remembered I was going to find her something more appropriate than this hospital garbage.

"Glad too see you're finally awake!" Debbie beamed. "How are you feeling? Do you need anything while I'm here?" Penny fondled with her mug of water and asked if someone could get her some fresh water. Debbie smiled and took her mug and walked out of the door. Penny was instantly in tears.

"What's wrong?" I was thankful for her father at that moment so I wouldn't have to deal with the awkwardness of her emotional breaks.

"I need to use the bathroom again!" She sobbed. "I've never hated something so trivial more in my life than I do at this moment!" Wyatt and I exchanged glances and prepared ourselves to leave the room once Debbie returned. Wyatt seemed as uncomfortable as I was, if not more so.

"I'm going to tell your nurse before she comes back." He muttered and back out of the door. Penny continued to cry quietly. I walked over and touched her cheek.

"This will get easier. In the mean time you just need to push aside your embarrassment and let them help you with whatever you need."

"Oh, please! Could you do that? Push aside your embarrassment and let someone else take care of you?" She shouted as her eyes rolled.

"Yes, I could. I have, in fact. When I was sick and you took care of me. I was not embarrassed. It's not a sign of weakness to need someone from time to time. Even great minds need help."

Debbie and Rodney walked back in at that moment and began preparing as they had done so this morning; getting out the bedpan, wetting wash cloths, and putting on gloves.

"Would you like to get cleaned up when we're done here? Rodney can wash your hair for you and I have some cherry blossom body wash. We can have you at least feeling and smelling better by bedtime." Penny sniffled and smiled.

"That sounds amazing! How do you wash someone's hair in bed though?" She asked.

"Oh, these beds can move in all kinds of ways. I can have your feet pointed to the ceiling and your head practically touching the floor if I wanted to." Rodney smirked. "But it's really easy, I've done it hundreds of times before. I'll just lower the top of the bed, put a few absorbent pads under your head and use a pail to wash your hair. I'm an expert with my hands you'll love it." His choice of words made me uncomfortable but I believe the idea of being clean was more of a priority than this man's professionalism.

"Why don't you step outside while we get her cleaned up and then when he washes her hair you can come back in." Debbie suggested leading me to the exit. I didn't want to leave her. I wanted to stay with her, watch how they took care of her and memorize every detail. Afterall, I planned on doing this myself if need be.

"Penny, would you mind if I stayed?" I asked her sheepishly. "You know how much of I gentleman I can be. I-" Once again I couldn't find the words and I shuffled my feet from side to side, my head cocked slightly. I chanced a glance at her face and her expression was unreadable.

"Sheldon, I- I don't know. Just let me go to the bathroom and you can come back in, ok?" I nodded, accepting a small defeat and left the room. I listened for the grunts, screams, and confirmations they were done, as I always do when I stand outside her room. Her father had vanished, probably to find food for himself. I sent Raj a text asking him to bring us our usual Thai order. We obviously wouldn't be going to the Cheesecake Factory tonight. Debbie opened the door and stated that she needed to go get some body wash and would be right back. I stepped slowly back in the room and eyed Penny's bag.

"You know, I brought all of your own products from home."

"I know, but I love cherry blossom." She smiled.

"You used to use it often when you first moved in. I have to say it was always my favorite." Rodney was still in the room getting everything together to clean her up and wash her hair. Debbie returned holding a small sample bottle and waved it in the air triumphantly. Penny never took her eyes off of me. She seemed shocked that I would remember that. I shrugged and sat down on the couch and watched as they prepared to give her a sponge bath.

Debbie untied her gown and pulled her arms out of it. The blankets were pulled back and exposed her bandaged covered legs. To give her a bit of modesty they pulled the gown up to cover her breast, not just because of me but Rodney was still in the room. Debbie retrieved some warm water and a few wash cloths and towels. She dunked one of the clothes in the water and poured the body wash on it and lathered it up. Rodney lowered the front of the bed so that Penny head was down and her legs were up. Both began working simultaneously to clean her. Debbie raised her arms and wiped them down as Rodney poured warm water over her hair. Penny had a serene smile on her face and would occasionally whimper but it sounds far from painful.

When it came time to wash her chest Debbie pulled the gown up, still blocking the men in the room view of her bare chest. I was grateful for her decency. Rodney paid no mind to anything other than her hair and he rinsed away the soap and began wrapping a towel around her head. Debbie began to towel dry her body and smiled when she was done. She handed her a clean gown and helped her tie it on, discarding the old one in a linen hamper.

"How's that? Better?" She asked as her bed was righted and Penny was laying flat. She smiled up at Debbie and nodded. "Good. However, I have saved the worst for last. Now that you are clean we need to get these sheets changed." Penny's face paled and I was instantly by her side.

"How do you plan on doing that with her in the bed?" I demanded worriedly.

"The best thing to do is pull it down from the top to her waist and then roll her on her side to get them out from under her. We'll be really quick but I can promise this is going to be painful. I'm sorry." Debbie did seem truly sorry. Penny looked terrified and reached out for my hand which I gave her without a second thought. They began to pull the sheets back at the top of the bed and replace the corners with a new one. As they pulled the old one down the new one followed. Once at hips they stopped and gave her a sympathetic look.

"Do you want to move to your right or left?" She asked. Penny looked to me, on her right, and pointed in my direction. They nodded and counted to three. On three Rodney pulled her hips and her legs followed. Penny screamed out and before I could even offer her a comforting word they were done and she was flat on her back again. Tears streamed out of her eyes as she struggled to catch her breath. The monitors were screaming as her heart rate skyrocketed and Debbie offered soothing words to calm her. Her hand loosened on mine slightly but did not let it go.

Finally, the two left the room and she turned her attention to me. Fresh tears slipped down her eyes but she didn't sob. She just looked apologetic. I ran my hand down her face and sat down next to her on the bed. The need to comfort her was back but my mind refused to form words that could even remotely assist. I sighed and gave into instinct.

I bent down, my face nearing hers, and kissed her forehead and her cheek and the salty stains that ran down them. When I looked in her eyes they seemed to sparkle. She reached up to return the gesture on my cheek but before I could allow her lips to touch my skin my face turned into hers and our lips met. It was soft and short. Shock echoed on both our faces and my body seemed to warm at the tingle that lingered on my parted lips. I wanted to feel them again but this was not the time or the place.

"Later." She whispered, her thoughts seemingly mirroring my own. I nodded and felt a buzz in my pocket. Checking my phone I saw that Raj was on his way up with Wyatt and our dinner. I kept my position next to her until they returned, afraid that if I let her go the memory would end with our connection.

I believe I could get used to this. Screw homeostasis.

**AN: Bacon, Gun, and Nate, love you guys! **


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: I think I'm driving everyone around me crazy. I've been going on rants about TBBT and Sheldon and Penny. But I've decided I'm completely obsessed and now I'm really trying to get this out the way I want it. I don't even care that Sheldon is slipping so far OOC (but that is the point of my story anyway, right) the show is doing it why can't I as I believe other authors have said. **

**Side note: Listen to this song after you read this chapter- really listen to the words. "Over and Over" by Three Days Grace. You won't regret it. **

**Here we go… and as always I own nothing but the story line. **

PPOV:

The week went by relatively uneventful. Sheldon stayed with me day and night only leaving me long enough to tend to a few of his own duties at home and work and come right back. The gang, minus Leonard, came in daily to check on me and Raj and I seemed to talk all day through text message- here or not. He never came to the hospital drunk so I could only speak to him through written word. I didn't mind. His text messages made me smile. He was proving to be a wonderful friend to both me and Sheldon and helped anywhere he could with a smile on his face. He never questioned, at least to me, anything Sheldon asked of him.

I was really shocked when Stuart came by the hospital on Wednesday to see me. I think he mainly wanted to make sure that his best client got his weekly comic books but he never regarded Sheldon for more than a minute. It was touching to know so many people cared for me.

Thursday brought another challenge that I was not ready for though Sheldon seemed unsurprised by the events. I started my period a few days early. I was devastated and cried for close to an hour. Debbie, my day nurse, sat with me and told me not to worry, that sometimes traumatic events can change the menstrual cycle. Sheldon pretended to work while we spoke but I couldn't hear and clicking on his keyboard and I could tell by his eyes he was not reading. He was listening and learning. He might be many things that he doesn't want people to see but a master of emotions and how to deal with this is not one. Though it was sweet to see him try.

Thursday was also the day that they finally took the bandages off of my legs and I was able to see the bruising, the incisions, and the very large, painful hematoma on my left thigh. The site of my mangled legs had me once again sobbing uncontrollably. Sheldon sat next to me on my bed, his hand on mind and his body facing my legs and studied the wounds. Once we were alone again he stood and looked at a very large midnight black bruise on my left calf and gently ran his fingers over it. He told me that I should be proud of the scars. I scoffed and told him I could never wear shorts again. My legs were ruined. He reprimanded me and told me that I was lucky to be alive after everything that had happened, in the accident and in the hospital, and I shouldn't be thinking of such trivial things. He was right.

If he wasn't repulsed by my legs then I wouldn't be. I would learn to appreciate my scars. Would I hide them? Only time would tell. I took pictures with my phone of every bruise and cut. I wanted to remember them. Not everyone had Sheldon's memory.

I spent a lot of time sleeping. Each time I started to drift off to sleep my mind would replay two recent events. The first, the accident. Every time my eyes closed I saw my car lose control and crash into the tree. My body would jerk, instinctively bracing for another impact, causing pain to rip through my legs. Once the pain eased I would close my eyes and force myself to think of Tuesday night when I felt Sheldon's soft lips on mine. I would smile uncontrollably and finally drift off to sleep. While I was sleeping, I found out, Sheldon had told my nurse about my alleged PTSD and the doctor added Ambein to my nightly pills. I didn't want to tell him that as long as I thought about his lips pressed against mine and what that could mean for us in the future that I would sleep soundly without nightmares.

Friday I was told that I would have another therapy session as long as the CT scan did not reveal any blood clots that the blood thinners were trying to prevent. Everything apparently looked fine and two hours later I was out of bed and sitting in the oversized recliner that my guests liked to rest in. It felt amazing to be out of the bed but the effort that it took to get me up and moving left me feeling exhaustion I had never known before. Howard and Bernadette came by and we talked for close to an hour until I could barely keep my eyes open. Sheldon silently asked them to let me rest and turned out the lights to the room as he closed the door behind them. I fell asleep shortly after.

The weekend was uneventful but I found out Sunday that my breathing had improved and the rehabilitation hospital was ready to take me. I was going to be transferred there, which was nice because it was a block away from the university and that meant Sheldon could go to work if he needed to, and I would work on strengthening my legs. I was worried about how much pain I would be in but decided early on that it would be worth it to walk again. Sheldon reminded me over and over again by saying "No pain, No gain" and that if I was strong enough to kick that guy in the balls therapy would be no big deal. I believed him.

Monday came and I was getting ready to transfer to the rehabilitation hospital. Rodney was working and he offered to get me cleaned up again. He recommended a shampooing in the bathroom this time rather than in the bed, mostly because I was so sick of sitting in the bed. I agreed without thinking of the consequences.

Rodney thought it would be best to put me in a transport wheel chair and because I didn't have the strength to move myself he offered to pick me up and move me. I agreed, foolishly. He tucked his arms under my body and lifted me up and I was able to keep my legs stretched out so I didn't feel too much pain but once he set me down gravity took over. My legs dropped and I screamed. Loud. Rodney was instantly at my ankles and picking up my legs to straighten them out. I was lucky to have people that understood my needs and since Sheldon had gone home to get cleaned up Rodney was it. I sighed with tears in my eyes in relief. He suggested that I stay in this chair and stretch my legs out on a stool in the bathroom so he could wash my hair comfortably. As long as I ended up with clean hair and no pain I didn't really care.

Bonnie, my day nurse, came in and helped Rodney move me into the bathroom. Once my hair was clean Rodney helped my get back into the chair next to my bed and I waited to be moved. I felt surprisingly upbeat about the idea of beginning a new chapter of my life. They told me that my transport would be here around 1:00 so I channel surfed the limited channels on the hospital TV. Sheldon came back close to eleven and I filled him in on the day's events, sparing the details about the pain in the transport chair. I didn't want to overly worry him.

"I must say, Penny, you look like a new person. And not just because you are freshly washed and dressed. You look like you could take on the world." He said, his eyes seemed in awe. That could have just been my mind screwing with me.

"I feel great. You know I have been taking less medication lately. I can't help but think that maybe I might get this over with faster than they think." I stopped and considered my words. "I know I can do this." I concluded.

"Oh, of course you can. It's just a matter of will power." Sheldon stated. We continued on with menial small talk, avoiding a conversation we knew we should have but decided to skate around.

"Oh, I looked it up on my phone and the rehabilitation hospital in just around the corner from CalTech. You can go back to work and check on me if you want to!" I exclaimed happily.

"That is assuming that I think that this new place can assist you in the way you need to be." He countered.

"Sheldon, I am being moved to a rehab place. They will be able to cater to my needs. You don't need to worry. I promise that it will be ok. Although, I have to say this new side of you is really sweet. I don't expect you to stay with me there as well." I didn't expect him to stay with me day and night here either but it was nice.

"We will see how it goes." Was all he said and he turned back to his science magazine he brought in with him.

"Sheldon?" His eyes traveled up my face as he waited for me to continue. "Why have you stayed here?" I asked him again, hoping for more clarification.

"Someone has to make sure you are taken care of. And personally, I do not believe any of our other friends could do so with the exception of Raj. However, because of his social restraints when it comes to women, he would not be a valid choice. Leonard would try to turn the situation around to be about himself while demanding attention from you that you need to exert on yourself and your recovery and Howard would likely get punched in the face again. Not to mention both have partners they need to be with."

"I would have been fine alone at night. Everyone has been visiting me throughout the day. You could have left and slept in your bed where you are more comfortable."

"I could have. But I didn't want to. I wanted to make sure you were ok. And after that incident on Monday I was less inclined to leave you alone."

"But you have been so much more than watchful. You've been supportive and caring. I know the you we know isn't the you you know but you didn't have to choose to show me that side of you. You didn't have to kiss me." I whispered the last words, regretting them instantly. I felt my face burn at the thought of his lips again.

"When it comes to you, I did have to and I do." He put his magazine down and moved down the long couch to sit right next to my chair. "I'm not familiar with emotions, that part of me is the truth. I'm not comfortable dealing with them. I recognize them, sure, but I avoid them. But when it comes to you it is something I want to learn. It's a new kind of science, a new theory that needs explanation and I've only just now found the missing pieces of the formula to start to putting it together." He looked down at his hands in his lap and began to fidget. "Also, I have been wrecked with guilt since that day." My eyes widened.

"Why in the world would you feel guilty?"

"Because I pushed you away. I was trying to regain the upper ground, trying to figure out my next move which was more complicating than coming up with the transitional quadrilateral to triangular tessellation to solve the balanced center combat-area problem in three person chess." I shook my head.

"You've lost me." He seemed shocked as though I should already know this.

"Three person chess. It's really quite fascinating. I've created new pieces, some advanced rules, and a larger board, obviously, to bring more of a challenge to the game. I've heard you are quite the chess player yourself as you beat Leonard after just teaching you. Perhaps once you are home we can rustle up a third body and I can introduce you to the game. I think you will find it much more entertaining." He beamed.

"That sounds fun, sweetie. But you didn't answer my question fully. You think you pushed me away and you feel guilty for the crash?" I wasn't going to let this one go. Even if we had to talk about this the whole way to the rehabilitation hospital in the ambulance I was going to make sure he didn't feel any guilt.

"Well, yes. As I said, I made you leave so I could work through the events and figure out what to do which resulted in you leaving the building, getting into your car, and crashing into that tree."

"No, stop right there!" I pointed a finger at him, his eyes widened and his body stilled. "I chose to go out for a drive. I didn't have to. I could have gone back across the hall to my apartment but I didn't. It was MY choice to get in the car and I'll be damned if you feel guilty about my stupid decision!" I felt like a parent lecturing a child. It's funny how often I've felt that way around him.

"But had I not asked you to leave you likely would not have driven at all that day-"

"It doesn't matter. It was my choice after you asked me to leave the apartment! Everything that happened that day was on me. Not you!" I don't think I could live with knowing that he was here because he felt guilty. If he left me now I would understand that that was the reason for all of this. I would understand because it's him.

"So you are refusing to accept my guilt and trying to absolve me of it?" He asked.

"Yes! Sheldon, this wasn't your fault. It could have happened any time. It just happened to be right after there was an incident in your apartment. I don't blame you. I could never blame you." I reached out and put my hand on his. He looked up at me, his eyes hopeful.

"Then I just need to forgive myself."

"Please, don't do this to yourself." I felt tears sting my eyes and as one slipped he finger was instantly at my cheek wiping it away.

"I've wanted to kiss you for years." He admitted. My breath caught and my body tingled at his admission. "I'm still so torn between the life I've built and the life that has been thrust upon me this past week. I don't know which I need to pursue. But I know which one I want to pursue. That is why I have been here." I couldn't speak. My mind was reeling. I knew he cared about me, at fleeting thoughts about the possibility of him loving me, but this pretty much just summed it up right there. Holy crap on a cracker.

"What about your work?" I was feeling overwhelmed and slightly confused. How did I really feel about him? I had always found this mystery to be alluring and he is handsome in a nerdy way. But what did that mean for right now?

"I've turned in two papers this week, both of sufficient quality. My work is not suffering. However, if you would wish that I pursue the life I've built and return fully to my work I will oblige you."

"Stop being so damn polite!" I shouted at him. I was immediately embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I just don't want to be the reason your life is turned upside down against your will as well."

"Penny, it's been that way since the day you moved in. I thought I had already explained this to you. Although, with the events of recent your memory is likely impaired and you wouldn't recall such conversations."

"I remember them. I just- I don't know Sheldon." I really was being ripped apart in two directions from the inside out. Part of me wanted to see where this could go and the other part of me screamed to run away.

"What I want." He smirked. "I still want a Noble Prize, I want to see you walking on your own and back to your usual annoying self," another smirk "I want to go back to somewhat of a routine, though now that the cat's out of the bag so to speak, I guess a lot less structured, and I…" He trailed off, his eyes darting back and forth nervously. "I do not want to hide myself from you anymore. I want you to know the real me because you are the only one who seems capable of doing so. You said you wished I could see myself through your eyes. I want you to show me what you meant by that. And, I would really like to kiss you again." He concluded. I could only nod. I wanted the same things for both of us. He looked nervous again and moved to the edge of the couch and began to lean in closer to me. I tried to move so most of my weight was on my right hip and I was facing him better but I couldn't. It hurt and it apparently showed. "Are you ok?" He whispered, his breath blowing hair on my face.

"Can you help me real quick?" I felt stupid for interrupting the moment but now I was really uncomfortable and I had to move. I took his right hand and put it behind my left hip. My legs were already turned slightly to the right so I was hoping with the extra help it would be easier. He seemed to understand what I was doing and pulled the same time I lifted and I was able to move the way I needed. I sighed contently and noticed that the position had us closer.

His mind, still focused on the previous task, controlled his hands and his right moved to my face and brushed a few strains of hair out of the way. It was an incredibly sweet gesture and I couldn't hold back the smile. I felt myself drawing nearer to him and he to me.

Our lips met again and this time I felt passion behind the kiss rather than simplicity. It was still simple but we lingered on each other. I felt my face flush and a nervous feeling in my stomach that was very welcoming. His hand, still at the side of my face, moved to cup my jaw. I tentatively moved against his lips, testing the waters to see just how serious he was and he responded back by mirroring my actions with more urgency as his hand tried to pull me closer to him. I pulled back, ending the kiss with regret almost instantly.

I took a moment to observe him. His eyes were glazed and he seemed to be miles away in thought. I wanted to ask him where he was. His hand fell from my face and he smiled at me shyly.

"Thank you." He whispered and sat back on the couch. I laughed uneasily at his response. "For not being fooled by me and allowing me opportunities others wouldn't." He touched my cheek again and kissed the side of my mouth and let go, turning back into his science magazine. I looked at him for a moment in shock.

What the frak? There was a knock at the door and I noticed two paramedics with a stretcher ready to take me to my new, temporary home. He nodded to them, stood up, and looked down at me. My eyes burned with a message that hopefully told him we would be talking about this again later. He smiled and nodded again and gathered my things for me.

**AN: Sorry to leave you like that but I really wanted to get something out before the holidays. It will probably be after the New Year that I am able to put another chapter out. Then hopefully it will be with much more frequency. Happy Holidays everyone! **


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: So we are starting to progress in the story and things are moving rather quickly. I'm sorry if things seem dull but I have to show the admiration and pride that is felt in this chapter for future chapters. I hope everyone enjoys it and I hope you all had wonderful holidays! Happy New Years everyone! Chapters should come more frequently now that everything has settled down. Thanks for baring with me! **

**Enjoy!**

SPOV:

I did accompany Penny to the rehabilitation hospital they were sending her to. The facilities were nice and the nurse that admitted her seemed knowledgeable and attentive so I felt that she was fine to be left alone at night. She ensured me that if anything should happen that was less than satisfactory to her recovery should happen she would notify me immediately. With that assurance I returned to work on Tuesday.

I spent my lunch break, however, visiting Penny while she went through the rigors of physical therapy. Her sessions were scheduled around my normal lunch so I would leave the campus and go to see her. We didn't talk about much, just her progress. I could have very well be an outsider to it all because she posted ever milestone on Facebook.

_I took my first real steps today. Four to be exact. _

_40ft today!_

_I made it 104 ft today! I am kicking ass on the parallel bars!_

_Started walking with a walker today. I feel like an old lady but I was able to walk 132ft!_

_237 ft today! They are already talking about releasing me early! Three weeks here my ass! This is what Nebraskan blood does to a person!_

She was proud of everything she did and I couldn't blame her. I was proud of her as well. She had been there just over a week and they were already talking about letting her out on Saturday. Her therapists needed to meet and confirm that she could be released and she would know on Thursday. I scheduled off work that day. It worked out in my favor as well as it got me out of another ridiculous grad student lecture I did not want to do.

When Thursday came I went to the hospital to find Penny still sleeping. It was after 8am. Her occupational therapist would be by in an hour to help her get cleaned up and ready for the day. I knocked on her open door.

_Knock Knock Knock _ "Penny"

_Knock Knock Knock _ "Penny"

_Knock Knock Knock _ "Penny"

She stirred slightly and shifted in bed. I noticed that she was laying on her side and looked to be doing so comfortably. I was pleased with how well she looked. I walked over to the couch and sat my messenger bag down and turned to see her eyes locked on me.

"Morning." She whispered sleepily.

"It's well before 11am but I trust that that rule has been abolished after these events. You've yet to punch anyone in the throat which I can only hope to mean that I am safe in the future as well." She smiled and sat up slightly. I watched her reposition herself in the bed and adjust it so she could sit to face me. While I did this I took inventory on her appearance. She seemed to have lost weight. I knew she wasn't eating in the hospital but clearly she was not eating here as well. I am ashamed to say that I did not feel it was necessary to monitor her eating habits here. I assumed once she was in the process of healing she would begin eating again. Her cheeks were sinking in and her hair was thinning.

"I believe it is safe to say that the rule has been temporarily suspended for now." She seemed to notice my scrutiny. "What?"

"I just can't help but notice you seem to be losing more weight. Penny, why are you not eating?"

"Oh, sweetie, I just never seem to be hungry. I mean, I feel like I'm starving and they bring me something to eat and I take one bite and I feel sick." She paled at the thought of food. I noticed that someone had brought in a tray of food before I arrived that sat on her bedside table. She noticed my glance at it and stopped me before I could begin. "I've already tried this morning. When I couldn't eat I went back to sleep."

"Perhaps you should speak to the doctor about it. They could change your pain medication to something more agreeable with you."

"The doctors know. When the nurses come in to get my tray they log the amount of food I eat. I've been chastised already for it. They've made me drink Ensure shakes three times a day to keep my strength up but otherwise have made no mention of changing my medications. Oh! I have a surprise for you!" She smiled and raised her bed and lowered the side rail. I watched with a curious eye as she leaned over and reached for her walker and pulled it closer to her. She gingerly moved her legs over the side of the bed and took a few deep breaths and then pulled herself up, one hand on the walker and on hand pushing up from the bed. She steadied herself and smiled triumphantly at me.

"That is excellent, Penny! I am very proud of you! The last time I saw you stand on your own you needed support."

"I know! Yesterday I asked Jenny to help me stand on my own and we worked a little over my normal hour after you left to teach me. It's hard and it hurts but it feels so good to stand. But I'm not supposed to do this-" She was cut off.

"Penelope Stephens! What are you doing?" I assumed it was her nurse. "You have not been cleared to be up and about unless someone is in the room with you! What if you fell?" Penny laughed.

"Sorry, Joyce! I was excited to show Sheldon my progress. I can assure you if anything would have happened, Flash over here would have caught me before I fell." Joyce looked unconvinced. I felt a swell in pride that she thought that highly of me. "Since you are here, care to help me to the bathroom?" Joyce nodded and opened the large door to the oversized bathroom. Penny shuffled with Joyce by her side into the room and they closed the door on me.

I took the time alone, not to listen to what they were saying or Joyce's berating, but to amaze at how quickly she was progressing each day. Overnight it seemed. She was awaking a new and stronger person, someone I never thought could grow from my Nebraskan neighbor. She was strong to begin with but now she could be compared to the Hulk (if he could be injured). She also seemed to be in better spirits. She smiled more as she spoke of her recovery. When she would come back to her room on the days that I was able to stay longer she would wheel herself down to the lunch area down the hall and fill up bags of ice to put on her thighs and talk about how proud she was of herself and how the pain seemed to be getting better. I had no choice but to admire her.

They opened the door and Joyce helped her back into bed and checked her tray. "Still not eating." She commented. Penny gave no response and Joyce didn't seem to need one. She walked out the door without so much as a goodbye. I glanced at my watch which read 8:32. Twenty eight minutes until her OT arrived. Penny seemed to like her therapists. Karen, her OT, had been in her position before. She had apparently broken her tibia in a sporting accident and after being non weight baring for three months, spent another three months in out patient therapy. Penny says that's why Karen became a therapist. I still don't know why she seems to think I care about these other people.

"So what's new in the world of CalTech?"

"I have nothing new to report. Leonard is still moping. Howard is still starting arguments he has no hope in winning, and Raj still can not speak to women which should prove interesting because he has to give a lecture for me today in front of some new grad students. The chances of them all being male are slim so I believe he said he would be taking some liquid courage with him." Penny laughed.

"And they let him do that?"

"What they don't know wont hurt them. I'm certainly not going to say anything as it got me out of my obligations to spend the day with you." I said sincerely. Penny seemed to shift uncomfortably and I knew it had nothing to do with her legs. She smiled at me, though shyly, and reached for a hair tie to pull her hair up.

"Sheldon, what are we doing?" She asked.

"Having a conversation." I answered pointedly.

"No, I mean what is going to happen when I get out of here?"

"Well, I can't be sure. I would assume I will still oversee your recovery to make sure you are doing what you need to do to get well and perhaps move take out nights to your apartment. Although I must stipulate that you let me clean it properly before we do."

"No promises." She laughed.

"The elevator is working now. They finished their repairs yesterday." I reported happily. The super told me three days ago they believed they would be a week behind schedule. I spent over a hour on the phone with him demanding that they work harder and why. He seemed unwilling to pay the extra money but I believe he felt it would be easier to get me off of his back if he did so and went with that option.

"That will certainly make things easier. We've been talking about things that I am going to need when I am home. They are sending me home with a shower and toilet seat. I'm going to need someone to take them over to my place before I leave."

"No problem. Howard can borrow his mother's van. We can take care of that for you." I pulled out my phone and sent him a text. I knew, for Penny, he would be happily willing if not just because Penny was his fiance's close friend. Within minutes Howard replied back that he and Leonard would come by as soon as they could to pick up the equipment and set it up for her.

"When will you be getting it?" I asked so as not to bring Leonard here before he needed to be.

"Probably tomorrow if I am getting out on Saturday." I nodded and sent that information along as well. The confirmation came soon after.

We sat in silence listening to the reports of the Olympics on the TV over my head. Considering the channels she had access to here it was the best we could ask for though neither of us cared. Karen walked in ten minutes early.

"Good morning! Great news!" Karen beamed. "We're going to evaluate you in your sessions today, most of the things you will do on your own. If you are able to, and we are happy with it, you will get to leave Saturday. Knowing you, I have no doubt that you will be gone and I'm happy to say I will be glad to see you go!" Karen hugged Penny and I heard Penny breathe out in relief.

"Thank you!" She looked at me with tears brimming her eyes but I made no move to comfort her. She was happy.

"So, today you shower on your own without the chair. Then we'll head over the to gym and work on your arm exercises. Tomorrow I want to spend some time going over the home equipment you will use and then I will be done with you. Jenny plans on walking you to death and doing more leg strengthening exercises before you leave but she is confidant in your ability to get out of here as well. The board agreed with us so lets get started and not make liars out of us, ok?" She smiled and sat down next to me on the couch. Penny began to get up again and looked at Karen questioningly. "All on your own. Clothes, towels, everything. I'm going to watch. If you need help tell me." Penny nodded and set out on her tasks.

She repeated her earlier movements and stood on her own, steadied herself, but this time moved about the room alone. She pushed the walker in front of her and shuffled her feet forward to catch up. She walked around the bed, past Karen and I, to the cabinet that held her clothes. She grabbed a pair of shorts, underwear, a bra, a shirt, and socks and stuffed them into a bag tied to the front of her walker. I was thankful Bernadette saw to bringing her more delicate articles to her for me. She turned slowly and made her way to the sink across from her bed and stuffed a few towels and wash rags into the bag as well and then pushed her walker aside and used the counter to make her way to the sink. Her eyes didn't show any doubt as she brushed her teeth and then turned back to the walker and headed for the bathroom and closed the door. Karen got up and reopened the door slightly so she could hear everything happening in there.

We heard a few grunts as Penny struggled to take off her clothes. Karen asked several times if she was ok and Penny would confidently respond that she was fine. Twenty minutes later she emerged fully clothed and quite pleased with herself.

"Good job!" Karen said and continued to type away. "Do you want to dry your hair quickly or do you want to wait until we're done?"

"If you don't mind, I'll go ahead and do it now. But I'd prefer to sit down, if that is ok." She seemed nervous to use her wheelchair, as if it were against the rules.

"Of course." Karen nodded in permission and Penny sighed thankfully. She lowered herself and wheeled back to the sink and began to blow dry her hair. While she was doing so she spoke to Karen.

"I'm sorry for being rude. I don't think you've met Sheldon before." She looked embarrassed.

"No, and I apologize we didn't speak while she was taking a shower. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"It's fine. I'm just glad to see people who are more focused on her progress than the other people around them." I nodded. Karen smiled and extended a hand which I took.

"Nice to meet you." She turned back to her computer and resumed her typing. When Penny was finished she and Karen headed to the gym. I followed and watched from the window as they worked with weights to strengthen her arm muscles. My phone buzzed and I looked down to see it was Leonard calling. I couldn't ignore the call, as much as I wanted to.

"Hello, Leonard."

"Howard said Penny was going to get to come home soon and needed help getting some things to her apartment. As a peace offering, Priya and I wanted to take care of that for her if it's ok with her."

"Priya wants to help Penny?" I couldn't believe the words could even form in my mouth.

"Yes. We were going to stop by tomorrow after work and then head to her place and clean up and get everything set up for her. Priya's car is big enough." I considered this for a moment. Until now, Leonard had yet to involve himself in any way other than to upset Penny or myself. I was surprised at this change of heart but would not deny the assistance.

"I believe Penny would find that to be acceptable, Leonard. Thank you."

"You're welcome. How is she doing?"

"Much better than we could have ever hoped for." Leonard laughed.

"So the real Sheldon believes in hope?" He asked.

"There is a lot that everyone needs to learn about me now but I believe it will be Penny to be taught first. After all, I did promise her."

"You really care about her." He didn't ask. "I am shocked. I never saw this coming. But I think I will come to terms with it." He paused for a moment. "Eventually."

"Well you just focus on your partner and I will focus on my friend. We will be the better men for it." He was silent for a moment and I took that to mean that the conversation was over. "Good bye, Leonard."

"Good bye." I hung up and pondered the change in Leonard. I could only assume Raj played some part in this.

**AN: Happy New Year everyone! Be safe and please fill in that little box below. It will really make my New Years awesome! **


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: So who actually listened to that song I recommended a few chapters ago? Over and Over by Three Days Grace. If you haven't you really should with this chapter. **

SPOV:

Saturday morning Raj and I arrived at the rehabilitation hospital to pick up Penny. She was dressed and ready to go, her items packed into bags and a cart ready to take her things to the car. Leonard and Priya came by Friday and picked up the equipment she needed at home and said they would take care of setting it up for her. I was impressed that Penny didn't seem upset once he had left and I had arrived later that evening. He was apparently able to control his emotions as long as his girlfriend was around. They assured me they would clean up her apartment to make it easier to move around. I had planned to inspect their cleaning myself but unfortunately I stayed with her longer than I had anticipated and went straight to bed as soon as I got home. My REM sleep was being affected and I needed to get back on cycle.

We waited for an hour for the nurse to come around with her discharge paperwork and a stack of prescriptions that needed to be filled ranging from pain pills to vitamins. I assured her that the vitamins were not needed as I had a healthy stock of them that I would be able to share with her. She smiled and thanked me, her hand grazed my hand as she did so. She seemed embarrassed as she did so and quickly pulled it away. Raj stood back smilingly like a fool watching us.

The nurse came and helped us get her and her belongings into Raj's car. Penny needed to sit up front for the leg room. Once everything was packed away in the car and we were ready to move I noticed Penny's hands grip the center console so tightly that her knuckles turned white. I could see Raj glance over at her from the rear view mirror several times but could not say anything. It dawned on me. This was the first time she had been in a car since the accident. Thankfully it was a lovely sunny day but she was still scared.

"Penny, I can't help but notice you are uncomfortable. Is there anything I can do to offer assistance?" I asked. She shook her head vehemently and clenched her eyes closed. I sighed and realized she would not take assistance unless it was thrust upon her. I leaned forward enough that my long arms could reach between the seats and grab the hand she was about to break on the console. She took my hand and gripped it tightly. I rubbed my thumb over her knuckles and the back of her hand in hopes of calming her, silently telling her I was here for her. Her grip loosened slightly and her eyes opened. She turned and looked at me. Her eyes were unreadable. Fear with a hint of something else I was not familiar with.

"Thank you." she mouthed to me. Raj, feeling uncomfortable obviously, flipped on the radio to a local rock station.

"_I feel it every day it's all the same. It brings me down but I'm the one to blame. I've tried everything to get away. So here I go again, chasing you down again. Why do I do this?" _

"Raj, would you mind turning off the radio?" I asked, the song making me uncomfortable.

"No, I like this song." Penny whispered from the front seat. Raj, of course, yielded to Penny.

"_Over and over, over and over I fall for you. Over and over, over and over I try not to." _

I conceded in defeat as I listened to the words of the song. Penny kept her eyes on me the remainder of the ride back to our apartment building. During small turns and intersections I would notice fear slip into her eyes and her hand would grip mine tighter but she seemed determined to hide it. Once we arrived I helped her out of the car and began to take her to the building. Raj whispered that he would bring up her belongings and I nodded a quick appreciation to him.

As we entered the building I saw her smile widen at the elevator. The out of order sign was gone and the tape had been taken down. I pushed the button to call the elevator to us and it dinged instantly and opened. She shuffled herself into the small compartment and I followed behind her. The doors closed and the car lurched upwards. She turned to me, her smile still bright, and sighed.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"For what?" There were so many things she could thank me for, so many she already had, I couldn't be sure what it was this time that I did so approvingly.

"For everything, again. For getting the elevator fixed, for keeping me distracted on the ride home, for dealing with that song. It's one of my favorites." She looked shy.

"Who was the artist?" I pondered as the doors slid open to reveal 4A and 4B. I stepped out first and held my hand over the door to keep it open and allow her to exit. She, again, smiled and pushed herself past me, her walker in front of her and supporting her the whole way. Her movements were slow but compared to this time last weekend she was miles ahead of herself. I pulled out her key and opened the door.

"The artist is Three Days Grace. I had a chance to meet them once. I couldn't get out of work. I've never heard a song of theirs I do not like." She looked around her apartment and gasped. It was spotless, her couch and coffee table had been shifted slightly to make more room for her and everything was put away. I was pleased at the progress Leonard and Priya made here. Her clothes all seemed to be put away and I was more shocked to see a very similar selection of cereal on her refrigerator that almost mirrored ours. It seemed they had also gone shopping for her. I walked around the apartment but tried to keep the conversation going.

"You like this group even more than 'Radiohead'?" She laughed and made her way over to the couch to sit down.

"Yes, even more than Radiohead. A lot of their music speaks to me."

"Yes, I found that that particular song spoke to me as well." I watched her set herself down on the couch and get comfortable and I made a sweep through the rest of the apartment. Her bed was made and her dresser drawers closed, the bathroom was spotless and the medical assistance equipment was in place. The shower bench stuck out over the side of the tub as it should and seemed to be an acceptable height. But we could only know for sure once she was in here. I felt heat rush to my face as I thought about assisting her with her shower, if she needed it. Would she want it.

I heard a knock at her door and a groan as if it sounded like she had tried to get up to answer it. My eyes rolled as I made my way back to the front door to find not just Raj, but the whole gang. They looked expectantly at me and I reluctantly let them in. Penny's smile didn't reach her eyes but I could see why. She was happy to see all of her friends and enjoy their company in the comforts of her apartment but she was in pain. We needed to get her prescriptions filled very soon. I pulled Leonard aside before he could accost Penny.

"Would you be gracious enough to fill her prescriptions? They gave her eight but she only needs three. Her morphine, Ambien, and Percocet. As long as you have her insurance card I don't think it should be a problem." Leonard nodded excitedly, most likely glad that he was being included in more than just the chores. I could see hope in his eyes. "Try not to wet yourself. You look like an excited puppy." I muttered and walked back to Penny. I heard Leonard scoff and tell Priya he was leaving. He looked back at Penny as if he wanted to say something but didn't and closed the door behind him.

Bernadette, Raj, and Howard were all around Penny and I had no choice but to sit on one of the stools at her island and watch with a smile. I was so grateful that she was here that I didn't care that I couldn't be alone with her. There would be more time for that later. Now that I was here I didn't plan on leaving.

"She's lucky to have you." Her Indian accent wafted through my ears and I turned to see Priya's eyes examining me as if I were a foreign bacteria under a microscope. Not that she would know anything about that. A new law perhaps that she wasn't sure of.

"She's lucky she's not dead." I countered. I wasn't in the spirits to have my mood dampened by this woman.

"You look at her the same was Leonard does but with much more passion. I'm not blind. I know my boyfriend still holds feelings for his ex-girlfriend so you can understand why I would be pulling for you. For my own personal reasons. But please be gentle with Leonard. He's not taking any of this well and being cast out has really hurt him. He was over here for hours yesterday making sure this place would meet your approval. He wouldn't let me lift a finger other than to help him carry stuff up."

"I will make sure to thank him later. However, he was cast out because he couldn't see past himself to know that she needed help. Had it not been for me in the room with her last time he was there she would have died because he wasn't watching her. He didn't see her stats slip because he had provoked her and was questioning my motives." Priya nodded, her eyes adjusted slightly to the news that she was obviously hearing for the first time.

"He does have a way of making things about him." She sighed.

"Yes, he does. Even when he is not here. But I will be sure to thank him for the work he did here as well as the errand now. It is acceptable." I nodded to Priya and she smiled softly, feeling accomplished I suppose.

"I hope you two work out." She muttered as she walked off and stood next to her brother. I tried to turn off my mind, easier said then done, and listened to the banal chit chat that the five of them were immersed in. Bernadette was planning a shopping outing that wouldn't happen for a few months at the earliest and Howard and Priya were discussing Raj and his silence. Penny caught my attention when she tried to excuse herself to go to the bathroom. Bernadette pulled her walker to her and positioned it in front of the couch. Penny smiled, thankful, and tried to get herself up. The couch was much lower and awkward to get up from than her hospital bed and her wheelchair. I could see her struggling with it and I was at her side instantly pushing Howard out of the way. The other three stepped back as well and watched us.

"I can't get up from the couch like this. I don't know..." She repositioned her hands, one on the arm of the couch and the other on her walker and tried to stand again. I let her try as I knew how important it was to her. She failed again. She even tried to turn on the couch and push her body up to the arm of the couch but still was unable to raise herself from such a low seated position. I bent over and wrapped my arms around her waist, to her surprise, and her hands were instantly on my shoulders. I pulled gently until she was standing. Her breath came out in raged little puffs and I knew that I had hurt her.

"Sorry." I whispered in her ear. My arms were still wrapped around her waist to support her until she was able to move to her walker so my body was bent over hers, my mouth was inches from her ear. I felt her shudder. "Will you be able to stand on your own?" I asked, mildly concerned and amused. I could feel the heat between us change and I knew the effect I was having on her. She was causing the same effects in me but thankfully in a not so embarrassing manner.

"Yes, just give me a second." She gasped. Her hands slipped off my shoulders and down my chest but her eyes were clinched shut. She was faking pain but her blush gave her away. I stood tall again waiting for her to move herself, my hold on her loosening to encourage her to move, and turned my head to Howard.

"I believe your masters will come in handy. Can you please construct something that will raise her couch and make it easier for her to stand. I would say it needs to come up by at least 12-18'' to make things easier on her. Her bed will need something as well."

"It's nice to know that my degree is finally needed among the group but I wont have to think hard unless you want it to be robotic and timely. Quick and efficient seems like the more desirable outcome." I looked at him with a glare as if to say of course it is. "So we'll pick up some two by fours, screw them together, and slide them under the legs of the couch. Hell Penny could have thought of that." He joked.

"Make sure you carve out holes for the couch legs in the two by fours, Howard. The couch slides like crazy and I don't want to be sitting on it when it falls off of them." Penny said strongly. Everyone in the room erupted in laughter and her comeback for his joke. Penny's hand tapped my stomach and she turned out of my grasp and stepped into her walker. She scooted her way to the bedroom and stopped short. I was just about to ask Raj about picking up lunch later when she turned and asked for help. Without even thinking I walked over to her but Bernadette stopped me.

"I'll help her Sheldon. You relax." She smiled and patted my arm as she walked by me. I could see Penny tense and relax repeatedly as she disappeared into her bedroom and to the bathroom.

"I just got a text from Leonard. He's waiting on the prescriptions and then he's picking up Thai and McDonalds for everyone." Priya relayed. Leonard really was trying. He and I would need to talk soon about what happened in the hospital and sort everything out.

"I'll get the utensils." I hurried into the kitchen and pulled out a new box of forks and set them on the table. I noticed a package of red Solo cups next to the sink and a few two liters of assorted drinks. I grabbed the correct number and pulled a bowl for ice down and filled it for the guests. I'd never gone to such lengths in my own home but only for selfish reasons. Here I was, showing others a side of me that most people didn't care to know. The generous and studious host. I set everything out on the island and opened the refrigerator door and found at least twenty bottles of watch and two cases of Yoohoos, one chocolate and one strawberry.

"We didn't get those." Priya whispered from behind me and I jumped and cursed loudly, once again causing attention to fall on me.

"Damnit woman do not scare me like that!" Howard laughed, loudly.

"Sorry, but Leonard was shocked to see those in there. I assumed you would be as well and felt the need to tell you that it was not Leonard."

"Well next time you feel the need to tell me something make sure you have my attention before speaking."

"What's going on?" Penny asked as she re-entered the room.

"Priya is trying to kill me although I believe that is nothing new. I know she has been plotting since her return from India."

"She's not the only one." Howard muttered. Penny smiled and sat down on the island stool that I had been sitting in before. I took the second chair next to her as the others piled onto the couch and sofa chair waiting for Leonard to return. I looked questioningly at her and she tilted her head slightly, her smile widening.

"This makes everything I have been through worth it." She reached over and took my hand and pulled me closer to her. "All of the pain, almost dying, knowing that I am here now with everyone, and with you, makes all the work I have ahead of me worth it." She leaned over to kiss my cheek and I turned at the last second and took her lips in mine. Another new side of me for others to see. I don't give a damn about public displays of affection. I could hear the others murmur and ignored them. I pulled my lips away from hers and whispered three words.

"Over and over." Her eyes brightened and her smile more wide then I had ever seen it. She caressed my cheek and leaned in to rest her head on my shoulder. A few moments later Leonard walked in, his arms full of Thai food and three pharmacy bags. Once everyone had eaten and settled Howard set about his new task and I sat with Penny. We didn't speak. We didn't have to though we knew we would later. The last words I spoke to her after our kiss filled her with everything she wanted to hear and more.

In my head I repeated the words that I had already memorized in my head.

"_So many thought that I can't get out of my head. I tried to live without you every time I do I feel dead. I know what's best for me. But I want you instead. I'll keep on wasting all my time." _

Although now it was not a waste.

**AN: Sorry this one just kind of got away from me. I couldn't help it. I really liked the way it came out and I hope you guys did to! **


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: I've found it really hard to write after this past weeks episode of TBBT. I was disgusted by Leonard, surprised by Stuart, and amused with Sheldon as Data. I did like the idea of the girls getting into comics for the guys but again, I was disgusted by Amy. Maybe Lorre will see that those two are actually better for each other. Both want what they have and more. Neither are ever happy with what they have. So many emotions. You'll probably see a few in this chapter. **

PPOV:

This first week has been hell. I can't sleep at night no matter how many pills I take and I have to have someone stay with me to help me in and out of bed to replace my ice packs regularly. That someone, of course, was Sheldon. I'm pretty sure that after a month of little to no work he was likely to lose his job at the university. He assures me otherwise but I can see a distant look in his eyes when he talks about his work. He misses it. I'm taking that away from him.

I insisted, since he demanded to be the one to take care of me, that he share my bed with me. His face flushed a bright red at my request and I assured him there was enough room for him and he couldn't sleep on my couch. He smiled, memories drawn forth, and agreed. The first night was awkward. He lay, just as he always did, like Dracula, and fell into a peaceful sleep. I watched him for close to an hour before drifting off myself. He was awakened around two in the morning to my movements and cries of pain. Without a word he got up and got me a glass of water, more medication, and a new ice pack. He laid back down on his side facing me as I lay back down on my back with a pillow under my legs and stared at the ceiling. His finger traced circles on my arm and I forgot about the pain and drifted back to sleep.

That was our nightly ritual.

In the morning, he would wake me up at six for more medication and a new ice pack. He would help me out of bed and get me situated on the couch with breakfast and several bottles of water and would leave for his apartment to get cleaned up and do a few hours worth of work on his laptop. He was always back by nine to help me shower. He was making a routine out of this and he didn't even realize it. I was touched at how gentle he was when helping me out of the shower. Getting in was not a problem. I would sit down on the side that hung over the tub wall and scoot myself over and turn on the shower head and go about my business. Getting out was the hard part. I had to pick up my legs and move them and often found that to be incredibly painful. I would cry out and Sheldon would be there as if he were waiting on the other side of the door for me to need him. He would wrap a towel around my body and help me pick my legs up and slide me to the edge of the bench so I could dry and dress.

He didn't think I would notice the lingering looks at my scars or the way his thumb would rub against one when he was touching my legs. He didn't think I saw the pain in his eyes. He didn't think I knew he wished he could take this from me and bare it himself. He failed to hide his guilt but I didn't want to bring it up.

After I was dressed and moving about the apartment myself with little pain Sheldon would leave me again run an errand. It was always the same time everyday and usually was right around the time Raj would pick me up for my physical therapy. I was going three times a week but the day didn't matter to Sheldon. The time was always the same. Eleven.

Raj was trying an experiment. Before he would take me to therapy he had a glass of wine so we could speak the first day. The second day, a half glass, and the final day this week, about two sips. It was taking less and less for him to be able to talk to me and he was able to speak for the same amount of time. I was truly proud of him. We would chat happily on the way to therapy and after. He even seemed to get along with my therapist very well. Her name was Ashley and she seemed to like him as well. He would gush about her and my progress the whole way home. I didn't feel like I was making progress. But it was only my first week. I knew I had to give it time.

When we would return to my apartment Sheldon would always greet us with lunch. Raj would leave and return to work and Sheldon and I would eat in silence. We watched TV, some of his shows and some of mine. After about an hour of this I would take something for my pain and take a nap. Sheldon would leave and come back to wake me at around five. We would chat about nothing in particular for about an hour and then head across the hall to have dinner. I insisted we keep dinner at the guys place so I could get out of the house. Everyone was always there.

Once dinner was finished and a movie watched Sheldon would take me back across the hall and I would pick up a book and read for a bit while he got ready for bed. Our routine would begin all over again.

And this is why this week was hell.

Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for the help he has offered me but I can feel Sheldon slipping back into his old ways in most places. He was secretive, organized, and scheduled. And he was making me this way. I hated it. He didn't realize that every day was the same thing and I have to have spontaneity in my life. The one difference is the days that I didn't have therapy I would have more time to read a graphic vampire novel Howard brought me. He said it was to spicy for Bernadette so he gave me the series. Sheldon would disappear for two hours and refused to tell me where he was going or what he was doing. I had only wanted to know if he was going to work so I could feel less guilty but that obviously wasn't the case. Why lie about it?

It was Saturday morning and I woke up before Sheldon. I looked at the clock that read 5:34am. I realized I was laying on my side and was shocked I was able to move in my sleep without waking up. But what was more shocking was finding a heavy arm laying over my waist and a hand pressed up against my stomach under my shirt holding me to a warm body. I suddenly felt very warm myself and shuddered slightly. His body reacted by pulling me closer to him. I could feel his body's response to mine and a blush crept up my chest to my face. I've woken up next to my fair share of men so I know that it's normal but it's Sheldon and I am horribly embarrassed.

I lightly gripped his hand and moved his arm off of my waist and struggled to sit up. Sheldon awoke and sat up instantly, obviously aware of what was going on by his physical state and the closeness of our bodies.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you." I looked down at the floor once I was sitting on the side of the bed and grabbed my walker. I didn't want him to know how the feel of his pressed against my back made my body respond and I didn't want to think I had anything to do with a normal thing for every man. I headed to the bathroom and closed the door behind me and I could hear him moving around the room. Once I could no longer hear him in the bedroom and I had composed myself I headed to the living room. He was no where to be found. I sat down on the couch to contemplate what happened. I didn't get far into my thoughts when his knock resounded through my apartment.

"Come in."

"Penny, I would like to apologize for this morning. It was obvious it made you uncomfortable." He looked down at his feet as he spoke. I could see sadness in his features.

"Sheldon, come sit." I patted the spot next to me on the couch. He obeyed and sat next to me. "I'm still adjusting. To everything. To this new life and having you around me so much. Everything that has happened between has just happened. We haven't really talked about it. I just don't know what to do." It didn't come out even close to how I wanted it to.

"What do you want, Penny?" He asked slowly. His hand twitched as if he were trying to decide to move it. I was shocked at just how much about him I did notice.

"I know what you want. You told me last week after you kissed me." I smiled thinking about it. _Over and over. _ That song was now the top song on a newly built play list on my phone. "I'm scare though. I've..." I took a deep breath. _Get it over with Penny. Just spit it out. _"I've had feelings for you for a while. I didn't know what they were until recently. I've always worried about you more than the others. But now it's haunting this hold you have over me. I see you and everything around you fades. I can't take what you're doing to me but I can't live without it either." I wasn't making sense.

"What am I doing to you?" He questioned.

"The schedules, the routine. It's not me and it's not really you. I feel like I'm losing you to your alter ego." He let out a small breath and smiled.

"I hadn't even realized."

"I know. I'm conflicted because I liked the old Sheldon but I love the real you because it is you. Regardless of the situation I would rather see the real you. I just don't want you to hide anymore." He nodded and took my hand in his.

"Have you considered the possibility of 'us'?" He squeezed my hand for emphasis.

"Since I woke up with you by my side in the hospital." I answered honestly. "I'm just worried I am dangerous for you. You have dreams you've set aside to help me. I'm scared that I will hurt you." He smiled and leaned over and pushed a strand of hair behind my ear and pressed his cheek to mine.

"There is a lot you don't know, Penny. Perhaps it is I who is dangerous for you." I moaned without meaning to at the feel of his breath on my ear and the words coming from his mouth. Was this Sheldon? Or was this a pod person they always talk about. "And just because I get to sum up my feelings for you by song lyrics doesn't mean it will work for you. That was a poor choice. I will not promise to hurt you. But I will say that I agree with one line. 'You touch me and I can barely make a move. And I can't breath'." I gasped. Had I done that? Is that why I didn't make sense to myself? How did he know that song? "I copied your play list onto my phone. I enjoy it on the way to my afternoon errand." His voice was still low and he kissed my neck just under my ear. I felt like I was about to implode.

"Call Mulder." I muttered. He looked at me quizzically. "He'd want to be here for spontaneous human combustion." Sheldon laughed, heartily and pulled away from me.

"I never would have guessed you were an X-files fan."

"When I wasn't castrating bulls I was swooning over Mulder and Krycek. What can I say?" I laughed nervously.

"What a horrible show. It had such great potential up until the seventh season. I enjoyed it until Chris Carter turned it into a soap opera. There were to many plot holes. But I believe we are getting off subject."

"Where do you go every day?" I blurted thinking back to him listening to my music where ever he was. He had a sly smile on his face.

"That is my surprise to you. But you'll have to wait until next week." I groaned.

"Fine. But do me a favor?" I asked. He nodded and responded 'of course' instantly seeming ready to jump up and do whatever I asked of him. "Don't make me wait another week before you kiss me again." He chuckled.

"You are a big ol' five, aren't you." I nodded and put my hand behind his head and pulled him to me. Our lips met and all the trepidation was gone. It felt as though we were hungry for each other. He pulled at my neck and brought his body closer so as not to hurt me. His hand settled on my waist and I wished that my legs were healed so I could straddle him on the couch right here and now.

"Hey, Sheldon what the hell was with all that..." The sentence ended just as abruptly as our kiss. Leonard barged into the apartment. "Oh for crying out loud!" He muttered as he glared us down. Sheldon looked back at me with no hint of embarrassment on his face at all. It looked more like anger. "So are you two dating now?" He demanded. Sheldon turned and stood up facing Leonard.

"Leonard, where are your manners? It is proper for one to knock on a door before entering ones home. In some states that could get you shot." He growled. Leonard stepped back at the tone in his voice.

"Penny?" Leonard looked at me for answers.

"Honestly, I don't know what it is and until I- we do I would appreciate it if you stayed out of it." I returned. Leonard scoffed and left the apartment and headed back across the hall. The door slammed and I jerked slightly in shock. Sheldon closed the door and took his seat next to me and sighed.

"I should probably go deal with that." He muttered, his face coming closer to mine again.

"Yeah, you probably should." He nodded and brought his mouth down over mine again. He broke the kiss long enough to whisper, "Later". It was around ten when he finally left to get cleaned up for the day. So much for schedules and routines.

**AN: I had a REALLY hard time with this chapter. I scrapped the first one and spend my kid free day staring at my computer trying to get something out. This one was HARD! I hope everyone enjoys it. Oh, and the song referenced was "Promise" by In This Moment and I own no rights to the X-files... just Sheldon's opinion which mirrors my own. Next chapter Sheldon and Leonard or Sheldon's surprise? You tell me. I didn't proof this so sorry if there are a ton of typos. **


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Another chapter all ready. Jislane, when you read this you will know I wasn't kidding when I said I was so pissed I had to put my anger into chapter 14 and it is getting ugly! LOL! Whew boy. It felt good to write it though! I hope everyone enjoys and I'm not flamed to death. **

SPOV:

It was after ten before I left Penny's apartment. I was annoyed that my day was going to be delayed so much but I couldn't be annoyed with the reason why. Holding Penny in my arms and kissing her was better than anything I could have hoped it would be. She felt amazing under my hands and the moans that would escape her throat didn't fail to arouse me to the fullest. I had to wait a few minutes before I entered the apartment otherwise our activities would be obvious to anyone within 50 yards.

Leonard was watching TV on the couch, in my spot to be exact, when I opened the door. He glared at me and I brushed past him to my room to collect my clothes and headed to the bathroom. After I was showered and dressed I exited the bathroom to find Leonard right where I left him. I wondered if he even looked at the TV while I was in there or if he just glared at the hallway the entire time.

"I suppose this is where we are supposed to 'talk'." I started, my eyes bore down on his daring him to test me. He was going to see who I really was today.

"Yes, I think it is." He responded with hurt and anger.

"Well, you will need to wait a moment. I need to make a phone call." I didn't wait for him to acknowledge the delay and pulled out my phone and pressed speed dial number two.

"Hey, Sheldon what's up?" His accent wafted through the ear piece of my phone.

"Good morning, Raj. I know this is later than we planned but can would you still be able to assist me with my errands today. I apologize for my tardiness but I was delayed." I didn't blush, smile, or let any emotion show while Leonard was watching so closely.

"Delayed, how?" He leered. I sighed loudly and he laughed. "We'll talk about that later. Howard and I were just about to head to the comic book store. He has his eye on a new Iron Man action figure and I want to pick up a couple of things. Do you want to join us?"

"I'm afraid I will have to pass. There are things that I need to take care of here before we head out. Will Howard be accompanying us as well?"

"Yeah, if that's fine with you." I thought it over. Howard's behavior this past month had proven him to be a better person than I had let on. At least once a week he would bring Penny dinner from his mother's house in hopes that she would eat something heartier than hospital food. He shared my fear of her weight loss and thought his mother's famous brisket could cure that, or at least help. It couldn't hurt if she would actually eat it.

"Yes, that would be acceptable."

"Ok, I'll pick you up in about an hour." I gave my thanks and bid him goodbye and hung up the phone and turned to Leonard.

"Ok, let's get this over with." I sat down in the white chair next to the couch. Leonard's eyes shot up in shock that I made no mention of him moving or my spot. For this conversation I had no opinions as to the location of air circulation or looking at the TV and my companion. This was just Leonard and I about to square off about Penny. Finally he recovered.

"I don't understand what the hell is going on! First she only wants you around and then I hear that you two were kissing the day she came home before I got back. I thought the guys were screwing with me until Priya confirmed it. And then I hardly see you all week because you are staying with her and then I walk in and find you two making out! I think you need to explain yourself!" He yelped.

"I hardly see where anything needs explanation but since you seem to be completely unaware of anything other than yourself I will indulge you. Penny required my assistance and I as I told you I was more suited to do so than any of her other friends. I could speak to her female nurses, I didn't make her uncomfortable, and I wasn't trying to have sex with her or do anything for my own selfish needs. Believe it or not, Leonard, people do things for others out of kindness not what they can gain from it and while I have displayed that selfish pattern before it is not who I truly am unless my work is involved. As for the change in our relationship, whatever it may be at the moment, what developed between us while she was under my care is not something I am ashamed of. I have felt emotions for Penny for years but out of respect for you and your 'claim' on her I left it alone. Now that you are tied to another person the need to hold them back when it's something she seems to want as well seemed foolish."

"Oh for Christ sake Sheldon! Don't you see what is happening here? You could describe the relationship as an Oedipus Complex only she doesn't want to sleep with her mother and kill her father she wants to sleep with her caregiver and the hell with everyone else. She's developing feelings for you based on a paternal role you took over after her father failed to hang around and take care of her!"

"So I am to deduce that if her father had stayed she would want to sleep with him?" Leonard rolled his eyes and scoffed. "No, listen to your reason. You believe she sees me as a father figure but would you be saying the same thing if it were you in my position and she was growing feelings for you?"

"Of course not! We have been there! We have cared for each other and been involved in a sexual relationship! It's completely different."

"As usual I find your logic to be exhausting. You have a girlfriend yet you insist that no one can be with your former girlfriend, a woman who has no desire to be with you anymore. Why can you never be happy with what you have?" I rubbed my head, a dull ache was forming behind my temples.

"I am happy with Priya but you are going behind my back with my ex-girlfriend. You just don't do that to your roommate and best friend!" My head shot up and I glared at him.

"My best friend? The same best friend who ruined my research in the Arctic because I was annoying him? The same best friend who mocks my idiosyncrasies and refers to me as a asexual robot? The one who refused to assist me when I was sick and sat through a marathon at the local cinema of the Planet of the Apes? Honestly, how could I possibly consider you my best friend?"

"Like how you treat me is any better!" He countered.

"I treat you how you deserve to be treated and even that is to kind!" I shouted. He stood and headed for the door. Figures he would run away.

"Fine, you want to be with Penny? Enjoy but you will tire of her. She's not smart and you can't talk to her like an intellectual equal and it will drive you crazy. She'll want you to watch girl movies and soon Star Trek and Doctor Who will be a thing of the past. Can you handle that?" Fury rose within me at each word. I stood and stormed over to him. He looked terrified and backed up against the door. I shot my hand out beside his head against the door and stared him down.

"You will never speak about her in that regards again. While you may see her as 'arm candy' as Howard calls it, to others around her she is smart, courageous, and loyal to a fault! Your ignorance will be your downfall. Now get the hell out of here!" I dropped my arm violently and stepped back as Leonard grabbed his key and scrambled out the door. I was surprised when I looked down and didn't see a puddle of urine where his feet just were. I paced back and forth in the living room trying desperately to calm my anger. How dare he!

"Sheldon?" Her voice was small and she looked frightened. "I knocked but no one answered. The door was unlocked. I heard you shouting, is everything ok?" My anger melted as soon as I heard her voice and I walked over to her and took her in my arms over her walker.

"What did you hear?"

"Enough. Did you hit him? I heard a bang."

"No, that was my palm against the door. I've never felt fury like that before. I witnessed it every day growing up and I swore I would never be that person but..." She shushed me.

"It's ok. It happens. But at least he knows he can't push you around anymore. And now I know what he really thinks of me. We do not need to worry about him. He's not worth it." My phone buzzed in my pocket and I reluctantly pulled away and answered it.

"Sheldon, what's going on? Leonard just called me in a panic. He thought you were going to physically kill him. No pretend 'mind melting' stuff this time." I sighed.

"Everything is fine. But I would like to get on with my errands so I can return as quickly as possible. How quickly can you and Raj be here?"

"Ten minutes." He replied.

"Can you bring Bernadette with you to stay with Penny. I do not want to risk her being alone if Leonard were to try to see her."

"Yeah make it twenty. We'll be there soon." Howard hung up and I turned Penny back to her apartment and helped her in.

"I'm going to take a shower. I'll be quick because I know you're about to leave." She whispered and headed to her bedroom. Once the water was running I could hear her sobs. I wanted to go to her but I was lost in my own mind. I couldn't understand how he could range from so many different emotions, how he could be jealous one minute, angry the next, and the begging acceptance and approval in the end before the cycle could start all over. Never once did his own happiness come into play because he was to busy alienating everyone around him to get what he thought he wanted or needed. My thoughts races, my mind placing time lines of our friendship on a mental whiteboard when I heard a knock on the door and looked at my watch. I had been sitting here, unmoving, for twenty four minutes and Penny was still in the shower. I opened the door and our three friends walked into the door and without a word walked away and headed for the bathroom.

Knock knock knock. "Penny."

Knock knock knock. "Penny."

Knock knock knock. "Penny."

There was no response. I pushed open the door and pulled back her shower curtain. Her head was rested against the shower wall and her eyes were red and swollen. She didn't regard my presence but I could tell by her appearance that she had not cleaned herself at all. I pulled off the shower head and made quick work of washing her hair and body and turned off the water. I wrapped a towel around her and pulled her over to the edge and picked up her legs and eased them over the side of the tub. She didn't even wince.

"Come on, Penny." I tried to coax her back to me. She looked at me and her eyes grew wide with horror.

"Oh, god I am so sorry! I lost track of time!" She started to cry again. I wiped her body dry and and tried to catch up with her tears.

"What are you crying for?" I asked softly. I had a feeling what was bothering her. His words had branded her in her mind.

"You have things you need to do and I'm keeping you from them." I laughed.

"Penny, I don't need schedules. You proved that to me this morning." She smiled meekly. "However, Raj, Howard, and Bernadette just arrived and I need to get somewhere before I run out of time so I will leave you with Bernadette if that is ok with you. I would stay with you longer but I do not wish to delay your surprise any longer. We'll talk tonight." She nodded and picked up her clothes. I kissed her forehead and headed out of the room. My anger was rising again but I couldn't let her see it.

I walked across the hall and pulled out a few of my pay checks I had been saving and walked back to Penny's. "I'm ready to go. We need to get to the bank before it closes. Bernadette, Penny should be out soon. Please pour her a glass of wine. I believe she will need it but do not let her drink more than a glass." Bernadette smiled and nodded and headed for the bedroom. The guys followed me out and began their barrage of questions.

"What's going on?" Raj asked.

"What happened with you and Leonard?" Howard questioned.

"I would rather discuss this later. I need to get to the bank and then I would like to get to the Ford Dealership as quickly as possible."

"I still can't believe you are doing this." Howard shook his head. I looked at him for a moment. "What? Raj told me. Just be glad he managed to keep it away from Penny. He's gotten awfully chatty now that this whole thing has given him an excuse to get over his selective mutism."

"I'm going to tell her Monday. I was going to wait until Wednesday but I think I can get it moved up but I am afraid I will need someone to take me first thing Monday before her therapy." Howard nodded.

"I'm off Monday. I can take you." I nodded my thanks as we made it to the first floor and out the door. Based on my research I knew exactly what I was going to get I just needed to see it for myself. I wondered how she would take this as we climbed into the car and headed down the road. At least this was taking my mind off of Leonard, if only for a few moments.

**AN: So there's a hint of Sheldon's surprise for Penny. What do you think it is? :) I know you guys wanted the surprise this chapter but I was just so upset by recent news that I had to put my frustrations in the guys conversation. I didn't really want to do this to Leonard but I couldn't help it. **


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: Wow! I have to say last chapter was really well received! Some of you guessed it that's why I didn't respond to any reviews this go around. I was so excited to see that I topped 100 reviews! I've been giddy ever sense even though my 100th review was a flame. Eh well… what's a girl to do? Because of said review I must remind everyone that this is OOC for a REASON! I'm writing Sheldon how I see fit. If it's not to your liking I apologize and request that you do not read any further. **

SPOV:

We arrived at the Ford dealership thirty minutes later after a quick stop at the bank to cash several checks. I felt knots in my stomach at the nervousness of purchasing a car. As soon as our feet hit the ground we were accosted by a sales associate. She was a small, perky girl who obviously drank way to much coffee to get her through the day.

"Hi! I'm Christy, what can I do for you?" She asked politely.

"I'm looking to purchase a vehicle. There is only one model I am willing to look at." I informed her. Raj and Howard wondered not far off oogling a Mustang on steroids. She followed my line of sight and smiled knowingly.

"You have nice taste! The Shelby GT500 is the top of the line muscle car. We do not keep them on the lot long. Their price tag may be high but they are worth every penny. 662 Horse power, 6 speed manual transmission, Microsoft Sync included, all the bells and whistles." She spoke lovingly when describing the car. She was either a very good sales associate or she wished to own this car but could not afford it.

"Sheldon, look at this thing!" Howard was bouncing on his heels as he admired the white on red paint job and ran his hands over the hood.

"Since when have do you admire muscle cars?"

"It's a silent passion. Just imagine the panties you could get with this baby!" He waggled his eye brows and Christy could be seen rolling her eyes in my peripheral vision.

"Dude you have Bernadette. You don't need any more panties." Raj nudged.

"Take my picture in it!" Howard begged Raj as he jumped in the car.

"Only if you take mine! I can show Ashley, she might think I'm cool!" Raj shouted gleefully.

"Only until you pick her up for your date and you're driving the same beat up car you've always driven." Howard muttered under his breath. The guys took turns sitting in the car and taking pictures of each other. I sighed and turned to Christy who was trying not to laugh at the guys in the car.

"I apologize for my companions. It seems as though they do not get out enough. I will need to remember to walk them more often before taking them out in public." Christy laughed loudly and waved me off.

"I have a feeling this isn't the car you had in mind." She said while wiping at her eyes.

"No, it is not. I have been reading about safe vehicles and my research has brought me here. I would like to look at the Ford Edge." I turned and scanned the lot for the desired vehicle.

"Safety wise it's an excellent pick. It's earned an IIHS Top Safety pick since 2007." She began to walk me over to their selection. "It has the standard driver and passenger side air bags, side curtain air bags, fire poof engine compartment, impact absorption for front end collisions, as well as a drop away engine for those severe front end impacts." We arrived at a set of five like cars. Two red, one silver, one black, and one orange.

"I must admit they are bigger than I thought they would be. I do not wish to look at the red ones. Statistically speaking red vehicles are more likely to get stopped by police officers and I do not wish to have a run in with the law while using the car for it's intended purposes." Christy walked us over to the silver Edge and opened the door.

"This is a 2011 Edge. It's fully equipped with a back up camera, additional side mirrors for an almost complete 360 view of the car, Microsoft Sync, Voice controls, all radio, climate, and phone controls can be controlled through the steering wheel so you never need to take your eyes off the road." I stuck my head in and looked at the built in computer in the dash and all the different knobs and buttons. It all looked very self explanatory. I slid in, still feeling awkward in the driver side of a car.

"I'll go get the keys and you can take it for a test drive." She was off before I could protest. Raj and Howard joined me and whistled at the car.

"This is nice for a family car. Why do you want something so big?" Howard asked.

"The size is a concern but it's safe. I read a testimonial on Ford's website about a family of four in a 2007 that crashed into a tree at 40 mph and the woman suffered injuries almost identical to Penny's and her husband had numerous breaks. Their children were fine."

"That doesn't sound safe to me." Raj muttered.

"She reported the office that arrived on the scene was ready to call the coroner because of the shape of the vehicle. He couldn't believe they survived. She said had the safety features not engaged she would have died."

"All of this for her, huh?" Howard asked. I nodded and ran my hands over the steering wheel. "You really do have it bad, man."

"Leonard walked in on us." I admitted for reasons unknown to me. Howard's eyes shot open and his mouth dropped.

"Doing what?" He leered.

"Nothing more than kissing." I responded. Christy showed back up and brushed by the guys and handed me the keys.

"I am obligated to tell you that I only have my permit." I said as I took the keys and slid them in the ignition and turned the car on. The dash light up like a Christmas tree.

"And I'm obligated to tell you that I will be accompanying you on your test drive. And I have my license." She smiled and walked over to the passenger side door and slid in. Raj and Howard laughed and climbed in the back and once everyone was situated and the mirrors adjusted I pulled out of the parking spot and out of the dealership gracefully.

"Turn left here and take the next right. There is a small road where we test cars on. Not a lot of traffic." I nodded and followed her directions. The car handled better than I thought it would and even though the size was bigger than what I was used to I found that I was able to quickly adapt. "So what are you going to be using the car for? Earlier you made it sound like you are a drug runner." Christy asked with mirth in her voice. Howard erupted in laughter.

"Sheldon, a drug runner? He wont even drink coffee because he thinks it's a drug."

"He did that one time and dressed up as flash and ran around the neighborhood at three in the morning." Raj reminded us. I blushed at the memory.

"I was very impaired and I blame Penny."

"Don't tell her that of this will all be for naught." I sighed and nodded. I still had a lot to learn apparently.

"I am buying this car for a woman I care for. She was recently in a very serious accident and her car was destroyed. She needs to be taken to physical therapy and I feel we have inconvenienced my two companions with this burden long enough. I am taking my driving test on Monday and the car will be for both of us to use until she can get another one." Christy let out a loud aww.

"That is very sweet. She is lucky to have a friend like you. Turn into this court and turn around and head back to the dealership." I nodded and did as instructed.

"I think this will take him out of the friend zone." Howard muttered.

"I believe I am already out of the friend zone." I countered with a smirk. Raj and Howard both whooped and snickered. "Raj, how much have you had to drink today?" I asked, just out of curiosity. He was speaking openly in front of Christy.

"Not a drop!" He responded bouncing in his seat. I could see the excitement in his eyes through the rear view mirror.

"Congratulation, Rajesh. How long have you been able to do this?" I was very happy for my friend for overcoming his selective mutism. Christy just listened, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Penny helped me. When I was taking her to therapy I started with a glass of wine and weened myself down. It seems her accident has helped more than just you two."

"It's changed the entire dynamic for our social paradigm." I thought for a moment and then added, "for the better." I pulled back into the dealership and Christy instructed me to park the car in front of the building door.

"This is not an acceptable parking spot." I complained.

"Some things never change." Howard muttered. Christy laughed.

"It's fine." I did as told, yet again, and turned the car off. "So what did you think?"

"It was... surprisingly comfortable." I said with a smile. I did like the car and knew this would be the one I would purchase.

"I'm glad you like it. I've never sold an Edge that the customer was unhappy with later." She smiled and slid out of the car. I glanced at the price tag on the windshield as I stepped out of the car and was pleased to see it was less than what I budgeted for.

"So, do you want to talk numbers?" She asked gleefully. I nodded and followed her inside. The guys said they were going back to look at the Mustang again and left me alone to fill out the paperwork.

"I'm taking $500 off the asking price. Don't ask me why." I looked at her sceptically but her eyes seemed sad. I couldn't place the reason for the emotion.

"Well in that case, with a 1.75% interest rate that I am sure I will be able to acquire I will only need to finance $9,000 for the vehicle if you factor in the usual tax, title, and licensing which I aired on the side of caution and calculated the figures high." She stopped and looked at me, her eyes wide. "I work with numbers for a living." I said and looked down at my feet. We began walking again and headed into her office. I supplied her with all the information she requested and I handed her an envelope for the down payment.

"Numbers my ass. You are a drug runner." She chuckled.

"No, just a physicist at Cal-Tech who lives a modest life."

"Well, let me run the numbers and I will be right back." I nodded and she left the room. I pulled out my phone and checked the time and sent Penny a quick message that I would be back shortly and if she needed me to bring dinner. She responded back shortly that she and Bernadette were waiting to order a pizza when we returned. I sent a quick message agreeing to the idea and waiting for Christy to return.

"Well, my guy worked with our bank and because of your credit we were able to actually get you a 0% interest rate!" She smiled happily. "With the down payment you'll only need to finance $8000 which will put your monthly payments at $133 for a 60 month loan."

"That is acceptable. Where do I sign?" She printed out the paperwork and I signed on all the x's and she smiled and handed me the keys.

"Well, Mr. Cooper, you are good to go. It was a pleasure doing business with you." She extended her hand which I took and shock gently.

"Thank you, Christy." I turned and walked out the door and tossed the keys to Howard.

"Done already? We've only been here a half hour."

"I felt no need to haggle the price as it was already lower than I expected. And they knocked off another $500 although I'm not sure why."

"Christy liked you. I was surprised that you behaved yourself. I must say this new Sheldon is much more easy to deal with than the old you. I couldn't believe Raj when he told me." Howard smiled. I smirked and climbed into Raj's car, Howard in my new one, and we headed back to the apartment. Once we arrived Howard tossed me the keys and congratulated me on the on the car and how it 'drove like a dream'.

"Please try not to give any hints as to what we were doing today. I want to surprise Penny on Monday." The guys nodded and we headed back into the apartment building and up the stairs. Penny was up on her feet when we came in and smiled and shuffled over to me and gave me a quick kiss. I looked at her with a questioning expression and she just shrugged her shoulders and smiled.

"I missed you."

"You guys are to cute it's disgusting." Raj muttered and plopped down on the couch where Penny usually sat.

"You're in her spot." I glared.

"Again, some things never change." Howard laughed as Raj scooted over and we talked about what pizza place to order from and what movie we would watch. Eventually we decided to go back to my apartment since there was more room and Raj informed me that Leonard would not be returning tonight. The rest of the evening was spent participating in banal chit chat and silly stories and I've never felt more right about my recent decisions to open up and reveal who I really am.

**AN: Well there it is. He's getting himself a car, because let's face it, Penny would hate the hand out, and getting his license all for her! **

**On a side note, I'm planning on getting at least two more chapters done and then I will be going on a slight hiatus as my husband has to have knee surgery on the 31st (a good reason to NOT watch the new episode that airs that day!) so I'll need to take care of him. **

**And the testimonial is mine. I never put it on Ford's website but I did e-mail them thanking them for building a car that saved my life. The cop really did tell my father in law he planned on calling dispatch to request the coroner until he saw my husband moving on the ground. **


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: So sorry for the delay. I know I said I was going to try to get two chapters up before my husband's surgery but it's been a crazy sort of week and weekend. Work has been kicking my ass then Saturday we noticed our 5ft long boa was missing from his tank so we tore the house up Saturday night and Sunday trying to find him. Then this morning I went downstairs and there he was, plain as day, chilling on the floor. Asshole. LOL! **

**Been working like crazy at home to get everything ready for my hubby. Feels good to do something that is appreciated for once! Well enough of my personal issues. I know you're all here for the Shenny so I'll get on with it! **

**PPOV: **

Sheldon was behaving strangely when he returned on Saturday. He was open and talkative when the gang was together but we didn't really speak that much when we were alone. Once we returned to my apartment after everyone left and he helped me into bed he said that he wanted to retire to his bed for the night. I tried to hide my disappointment as he walked out of the door promising to be back no later than six am. I did not rest well knowing I was all alone. I didn't care if I needed to get up, I was getting stronger each day and able to do more and more things on my own. I just missed him in bed with me.

Sunday morning he was making breakfast when I awoke. I tried to engage in small talk but he seemed to have fallen back into himself. Once we had eaten he stayed long enough for me to take a shower and then left to go back to his apartment. I wasn't sure what was going on with him. I called Bernadette and asked her to keep me company. She came over and I told her about his behavior she assured me he was just being the old Sheldon that still sneaks it's way in from time to time and that he will come around. Feeling a little bit better, we spent the day watching Pretty Woman, Clash of the Titans (Sam Worthington... yum), and Wrath of the Titans before we decided to call it a day. I realized that Sheldon never came over to check on me. When Bernadette had left I padded my way across the hall and knocked on the door. Leonard answered.

"Hey, Sheldon's not here." He muttered and turned to walk away from the door leaving it open. I contemplated turned around and leaving but figured he and I did need to talk.

"Do you know where he is?" I asked as I slowly made my way in. Leonard glanced down at my legs and winced at the sight of the scars. I pretended not to notice.

"He went to the comic book store with Raj, or so he said. It's not comic book day but then again I don't know what's going on. Everything about his has changed." He sat down at his computer and put his hands over his face and sighed. I made my way over and sat down on the arm of the couch thinking it would be too hard to get up from their couch without help. I wasn't comfortable asking Leonard for help.

"I know it's hard for you to understand. The person you thought you've known for so many years is suddenly completely different from who you thought you knew. But he's been giving us hints for years. No one picked up on them." I explained.

"No one but you?" He countered.

"Well, everyone has always said I am a better judge of character than most people. I see beyond what people display for the world and see what they hide. I may not be book smart like you guys but I'm street smart." Leonard laughed.

"There are so many questions I want to ask you. Like why Sheldon, what is going on with you two? But I don't want to fight with you. I want to try to except this on my own time. So I will stick with asking; how are you doing?"

"Thank you." I whispered and sighed deeply. "I am doing good. It's still hard but I'm getting stronger. It's hard to believe it's been a month since the accident."

"How is therapy going?"

"Fine. I think Raj has a thing for my therapist. He's actually talking without alcohol." Leonard's mouth dropped open. "You haven't been around much to notice." I commented. He looked down, seemingly ashamed. "Perhaps you should just be happy for yourself and for others around you. You have Priya, I have my life, Raj is overcoming his issues, Sheldon is finally breaking free, and you still seem so bitter." I finished. I felt the sting of tears in my eyes but looked up quickly to keep them from falling. Thankfully, at that moment, Sheldon and Raj opened the door.

"Penny, what are you doing here?" Sheldon asked quickly while chancing a glare at Leonard.

"Looking for you and talking to Leonard. I missed you." I admitted. He smirked at me and walked over to me and kissed my forehead.

"I apologize for my absence. I had a few things I needed to take care of." He held up a bag from Stuart's store and grinned childishly. I laughed and stood up. He put his hand out, weary of me standing on my own. The height of the arm of the couch helped and I was on my feet in no time.

"Well, I'm going to go lay down. Bernadette and I watched movies all day and vegged out. I'm exhausted." I turned and headed for the door. He moved ahead of me and opened the door for me.

"Do you need any assistance?" He asked.

"No, I've got it. Thank you though." I offered a small smile and waved bye to Raj and Leonard.

"I'll be over soon." Sheldon said. My smile widened and I bit my lip and nodded and walked out. He watched me open my door and I heard his close shortly after mine did. I was glad he was coming back over. I wasn't kidding when I said I was tired. I made my way into the bathroom and got myself ready for bed and then sluggishly made my way to the bed. Once I sat down I pushed my walker to the side and picked up my legs and pulled the covers over my body. I was asleep within minutes.

I don't know how long I was asleep before I felt the bed shift with added weight. My eyes cracked open and I saw Sheldon positioning himself in bed next to me. He looked over and saw that I was awake and I could swear I saw a blush creep across his face.

"I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's ok." I muttered and turned over slowly and gently, moving the pillow so it was between my knees and laid my head on his chest. His arm wrapped around my body instinctively. It felt so amazing to be in his arms again.

"I've decided to move my plans up to tomorrow. I will be gone most of the morning but I will see you before your therapy appointment tomorrow." His voice was low and husky.

"My surprise?" I asked wearily. I wanted to clear the sleep from my mind but it was quickly fogging over again.

"Yes, now get some sleep. I'll be here when you wake." I looked up at him and his head lifted from the pillow and captured my lips with his. It was a short, simple kiss but it was bliss none the less. I smiled and laid my head back down and was soon back to sleep.

The next morning I awoke in a tangle of comforter, pillows, and arms. My right arm was tucked under his body and was completely numb. I'm sure his left arm, under my body, was in the same state. I shifted and tried to pull the dead limb out from under him without waking him but to no avail. He rolled over and pulled his arm out rubbing it roughly.

"Ow." He whispered and my thoughts mirrored his. I looked over and smiled sheepishly at him. He laughed and then rolled over and got up. "You wait here. I'm going to get some coffee and breakfast going once I have full use of my arm again." I smiled and nodded. A few minutes later he brought me a glass of water and my medications.

I dozed off again because the next thing I knew a tray was being placed over my legs with the most amazing smelling breakfast I had ever smelt. I propped myself up with pillows to see these cute little breakfast pizza things sitting before me. Sausage and cheese with marinara sauce on an english muffin half.

"My MeeMaw used to make these for me on special occasions. Trust me, you will love it." I took a small bite and he was right. It was delicious. I moaned and devoured the first one and moved on to the second. He sat at the end of the bed watching me eat with a small smile on his face.

"Sheldon, remind me to call your MeeMaw and thank her." I moaned again.

"If you keep making those noises I don't think I'll be able to leave for my appointment." He groaned. I almost choked on the bite in my mouth. Did he really just say that? He laughed. "What?"

"It's just so weird to hear you talk like that." I whispered shyly.

"Just wait until you feel better." He smirked and looked at his watch. "Oh lord, I'm going to be late. I must go. Will you be ok to get yourself ready for therapy without me?" I nodded and finished my breakfast. He took the tray and took it into the kitchen and washed the plate and put them away. He returned and kissed my forehead and whispered that he would be back by eleven.

I took the opportunity to relax and read for a little while before getting up and getting ready for the day. Once I was showered I pulled my hair up into a tight pony tail and threw on a tank top and shorts. I was just sitting down on the couch to get my shoes on when I looked at the clock. 10:59am. Sheldon would be here soon. As soon as the clock changed to 11:00am the lock on my door clicked and Sheldon and Howard all walked in. I was a bit shocked to see Howard here.

"Hey guys, what's going on?"

"We thought we'd stop by and check on you. I'm off today so I figured I would take you to therapy if that would be ok?" He asked slowly. His body was it's usual twitchy self but he didn't have that creepy leer in his voice.

"Yeah, thank you Howard. I imagine Raj is getting behind on his work." Sheldon and Howard nodded and Howard laughed.

"Not as far behind as Dr. Cooper but golden boy here has been given a pass." Sheldon nudged Howard in the side.

"I thought you said you had been working!" I scolded Sheldon.

"My work will still be there when I get back. There are some things that I find more important now and I can assure you that no one is closer to discovering string theory's existence than I am so I am not worried about missing a few days of work a week." I glared at him and moved to the edge of the couch to stand. Sheldon grabbed my arm offering mild support as I pushed and pulled myself up.

"Fine. Just let me take my meds and grab a bottle of water and we can go. Howard, I really hope you didn't drive the vespa." I muttered and headed to the kitchen. He laughed.

"No, I've got Raj's car. Mom needed the van to haul around her swim class. I imagine there are three of them packed in there like sardines and the back bumper is dragging the ground as we speak." I laughed loudly and saw Sheldon roll his eyes in amusement.

"We need to hurry or we will be behind schedule." He said impatiently.

"Ok, ok. I'm coming." I tossed the bottle of water and my book in the bag tied to my walker and headed for the door. The elevator doors slid open as soon as I pressed the button and we all entered the small compartment. The ride down was quite and when the doors opened to reveal the lobby Howard held his hand over the doors to give me time to make my way out. I smiled gratefully at him and shuffled out. Sheldon kept his hand on the small of my back as I walked slowly out the front doors and onto the sidewalk. I looked around and didn't see Raj's car. There was a cab and a silver SUV sitting by the curb.

"Alright, I am out of here. Good luck in therapy, Penny." Howard waived and jumped in the cab. I looked at him stunned and back at Sheldon.

"What-" Sheldon pulled out a set of keys from his pocket and I saw the lights on the silver SUV blink as he pressed the button on the key. Pieces began to fall into place. Sheldon had bought me a car. What the frak!? "Sheldon Lee Cooper please tell me you did not buy me a car! And how are we going to get to therapy? You can't drive!" I was getting really angry, fact.

"I did not buy you a car. I bought myself a car." OK, what?

"Why?"

"So I can drive you to therapy."

"You don't drive." I whispered.

"I do now. I've been taking driver's ed classes all last week. I took my driving test today and passed. I am now a fully licensed driver." He beamed and opened the passenger side door for me. I felt tears spring up in my eyes.

"You did this for me?" I asked.

"I did. I knew you would not let me replace your vehicle so I bought one for myself and will be using that to take you where ever you need to go." He helped me into the car and I gasped at the interior. It looked so modern and sophisticated. I was afraid to touch anything. He took my walker and closed the door. The back door opened and he placed the collapsed walker in the back and headed to the drivers side door. He adjusted the mirrors quickly after his seat was in place and started the engine. He was much better at this then the last time he drove me to the hospital. He was not nervous. He looked like a natural. I was in awe of him at that moment. Before he could put the car in drive I grabbed his arm with one hand and his face with the other and kissed him.

"Thank you, Sheldon. This is the best surprise I've ever received."

"You are welcome, Penny. Shall we go?" He asked. I nodded and let him go and we pulled out into traffic.

Twenty minutes later I was sitting on the Neustep working my legs when Ashley came over and smiled at us. I could see disappointment in her eyes.

"Where's Raj? And who is this?" She said with a smile.

"Raj had to work. This is Sheldon. My boyfriend." I said with a smile that hurt my cheeks. Sheldon looked at me for a moment before nodding with a smile and extended a hand to Ashley.

"Nice to meet you." Sheldon said. No correction that he was 'Dr Sheldon Cooper PhD and a bunch of other letters, just nice to meet you. Ashley nodded and said likewise and began typing away at her computer. Sheldon leaned over to the side of my head and whispered in my ear.

"I'm giving her Raj's number. I think it's the least I can do see as it's obvious she likes him." I pulled away from him and laughed.

"You amaze me every day, Sheldon Cooper. You really can read people even if you do not know them." True to his word, Sheldon gave Ashley Raj's number and she smiled widely and thanked him. We got back into his car and headed home.

"How about lunch out? Do you think you feel up to it?" He asked.

"I feel like I could run right now. I feel great." I smiled, still on a high from everything that had happened this morning. The car, the license, the boyfriend status that was not denied. I felt like my injuries were magically healed and I could take on the world.

"The Cheesecake Factory it is. I know a few people who have missed you." He smiled and turned the car in that direction. I was too happy to object.

**AN: After this things will be moving in rapid pace. I hope you like the unveil of Sheldon's surprise! I'm sorry that I wont be able to update much in the next few weeks unless I get some free time this weekend while hubby is resting. Wish us luck. We're both getting nervous! Love ya guys! **


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: So this past week and a half has been nuts. I have been super busy taking care of my husband and my kids and working at the same time. Plus I've been hit with writers block. I know where I want to go with this chapter and yet every time I start it I deleted it because I didn't like it. Thanks to a friend of mine that I am going deep into a personal issue that I dealt with after the crash. It's not going to be pretty but there is light at the end of the tunnel... oh and I had to change the rating... *grins devilishly* **

PPOV:

It's been three weeks since Sheldon bought the car. In that time I have excelled in my physical therapy and am now off my walker and using a cane to walk about. Sheldon has been taking me to therapy everyday and Raj and Ashley, my therapist, have actual developed a nice relationship. But, in the times that I have had to myself, I've found myself falling into a deep depression that even the new Sheldon that I have come to love can not pull me out of.

I know he senses my pain but he doesn't know what to do with me. He has tried to pull me from myself but I can't seem to get past the fact that before they pulled me out of the car that day I was ready to die.

When I am alone I spend my time listening to music, particularly 'Remember Everything' by Five Finger Death Punch, mainly because I remember more of the accident than I want to. I remember the fear, the pain, the despair that I felt when I was trapped in my car. The Ambein has stopped working and I find myself jolting awake because my dreams relive the accident and body tenses in my sleep causing pain to shoot up my spin and I scream out in pain in the middle of the night. Each time Sheldon is there beside me, soothing me back to sleep with his words of comfort.

I tried to repress it. I can't.

Today was the worst day I had gone through since the accident. It's Saturday and Sheldon was coming back to my apartment after doing our laundry. I was sitting on the couch with a glass of wine in my hand feeling slightly numb from the wine and the pain medications. He walked in the door and I began to cry.

"Penny, what is wrong?" He asked, concern dripped from his voice as lava erupts from a volcano. I stared at him a moment wondering if I should tell him why I was crying. My vision blurred with the tears filling my eyes. I sat the glad down and wiped my face. He sat our baskets down and took a cautious step closer to me. "Penny, please. Tell me what is wrong." He said gently.

"I should have died." I whispered with tears streaming down my face. He was instantly by my side.

"What are you talking about?"

"I- I don't know how to explain this." I hiccuped.

"Penny, surely whatever you are trying to express I am positive we can come to a resolution as long as you rationally explain your meaning behind the phrase 'I should have died'." He spoke soundly as his arm snaked around my shoulder pulling me to him. I took a moment to find strength in his arms and gripped the cane sitting between my legs as if it were a life support.

"Sheldon, I don't know how to think. I..." My mind wondered how I could explain this as clearly as possible. "I was ready to die that day." I simply stated, my tears falling more freely.

"What do you mean?" He questioned.

"When I was trapped in the car I felt a sense of, I don't know, peace I guess. I was not feeling any pain and I felt myself slipping. Right as I felt it my vision blurred and I saw a light, this blinding light that beckoned me to come to it. I know it sounds cliche but I know what I felt. I remember my head lulling back and my mind telling my body to let go. And then I remember the EMTs bringing me back, telling me to stay with them and asking for my name, address, phone number, anything to keep me with them." I sniffled and grabbed a tissue from the coffee table that had been I placed there a few days ago while I dealt with a sinus infection. Sheldon shook his head.

"You are speaking as though you have been going to church with my mother. Penny, you were most likely suffering the effects of your concussion and the 'light' that you claim to have seen was merely your brains reaction to the trauma it had experienced." He stated.

"I know, I know. I've thought of that myself. But, Sheldon, I can't deny what I saw. What I felt. I felt like it was ok to go. There were unanswered questions but I was ok with letting them go. I was ok with not knowing." I stated. He looked at me, his eyes seemed concerned and defeated at the same time.

"I know you have had problems with PTSD since the accident but I did not realize it was to this magnitude. Perhaps you could benefit from seeking professional help."

"I asked." I sobbed. "When I was in the rehabilitation hospital I asked to talk to someone about it. I wasn't able to sleep without jerking awake as I saw myself crash as I closed my eyes as night. They said they would send someone to talk to me but apparently didn't feel like it was worth it because no one came." I coughed as my throat seemed to tighten. Sheldon's grasp on me loosened.

"I wish you would have told me. Penny, I don't want you to keep things like this from me. I could file a lawsuit on your behalf because of their negligence." His body seemed to tighten and his frame became rigid. He was angry.

"I tried." I whispered. I covered my face with my hands and wished to God or whoever was up there that I didn't feel the pain I did now, emotionally.

"Penny, look at me." He said sternly, his forefinger pulling my face to meet his eyes. "Had something happened to you, more than what did that day, I don't think I could have carried on. My life had been devoted to discovering the truths of the universe until I met you. After that it was spent trying to keep you from interfering with my desire to earn a Noble. You were the reason I submitting incorrect information to Stephen Hawking because I spent the week before hand trying to forget you parading through my apartment in your cheek shorts."

"Oh god!" I exclaimed, pain radiating from my chest. "I was a problem for you before now." I shouted. I gripped my cane and stood, balancing myself, and headed to my bed. I could hear him following me.

"Penny!" He shouted as he gripped my shoulder. "Yes, you were a problem for me. But I chose to keep you in my life." He stated. I turned to him and looked into his eyes. He looked so scared. "Please, don't talk about wanting to die, or being ready to die, again." He simply stated as his hands graced over my arms. "You are a problem that I want in my life." He whispered. He pulled me to him gently and held me close to him. I felt like I could let go of my pain as his strength washed over me. His lips brushed against my temple as his tried to kiss my pain away. I pulled away from him and looked into his eyes. He looked like Mulder when he was about to kiss Scully in the movie. I couldn't read his expression, it was new to me. As if by second nature I snaked my right hand around his neck and pulled him to me.

When our lips met I felt a hunger I had never known before. I pushed my tongue into his mouth as I tried to explain my emotions through our kiss. His arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me to him in an upward motion to keep weight off of my legs. In doing so I felt his response to my kiss pressed against my core. I moaned into his mouth and bit at his bottom lip. My left hand wrapped around his neck as well and I heard the cane crash to the ground. It was forgotten as Sheldon picked me up by my waist and carried me to bed never breaking our kiss.

My mouth roamed down his neck as my feet touched the side of the bed. He lowered me down his body and I was once again reminded of his arousal as it grazed up my body at my downward movement. My feet gently hit the floor and he steadied me with his hands on my hips and pulled away from me. His eyes searched my face and I nodded reassuringly at him.

"I don't want to hurt you." He admitted as he ran his thumb across my cheek. I dropped my hands from his chest, briefly wondering when I placed them there to begin with, and pulled at my shirt. It was over my head and on the floor before I could finish a breath. His eyes traveled down to my exposed skin and gasped.

"You wont." I reassured him. His hands moved from my hip bones that were sticking out to far and up to my ribs and rubbed over the bones sticking out.

"You've lost so much weight." He muttered somberly. "Once you are off of your pain medications all together I recommend a very strict diet of carbohydrates and no less than 1500 calories per day." He manged to put conviction into his voice. I smiled.

"Anything you say, Dr. Cooper." His eyes darted back up to mine and I watched the color darken in them. He crashed his lips to my and began to devour me. I smiled into the kiss knowing I had just discovered one of his turn ons. I broke away only to set down on the bed and pick up my legs to lay on the bed. He ripped his shirts from his body and turned out the light of my room. I could still see him coming closer to me from the light left on in the living room.

He waited for me to get comfortable and crawled up the bed to lay on his side, his elbow holding himself up. His hands ran down my chest, across my bra and down to my center and back up again. My body shuddered under his touch and I felt the word fade away. There was no pain, no depression, no therapy, no work, there was just us. I mirrored his movements and slipped my thumb under the top of his pants. His hips pushed against me as he leaned down to kiss my neck and clavicle. His arm snaked under my body and unclasped my bra and pulled it off. Our hands returned to their familiar patterns as his mouth dipped lower to my breasts and my breathing became more ragged. As he delicately teased my nipple with his tongue and teeth his hand slipped under my shorts and rubbed me just above where I so desperately needed him.

I moaned as my head went back and my hands ran through his hair. I've never felt someone learn my body before. His fingers seemed to be cataloging everything and his mouth seemed to be savoring me. He seemed far to skilled at bringing forward sensations I've never felt before to be an amateur as he was assumed to be. He raised his head from my chest and I opened my eyes to seem his glimmering with desire. He kissed me gently and pulled himself from the bed onto his knees and gently tugged at my shorts. I smiled bashfully as he seemed to blush deeper with each new inch of skin that was revealed. Once my shorts and underwear were free from my body Sheldon looked over my legs and touched each scar tenderly. I felt tears threaten to spill from my eyes at the intimate gesture. He leaned down and touched his lips to each one next, kissing all sixteen healed incisions before looking into my eyes.

"They are beautiful." He whispered.

"You're crazy." I replied with a laugh. He smirked and before he could open his mouth I cut him off. "I know you were tested." He smiled again.

"Penny, I need to know that I will not hurt you before we go any further." I wanted to tell him he wouldn't but I was worried too. My medications were starting to wear off and I was feeling sore from the days activities so I nodded to him. He turned his attention back to my legs and gently lifted them and moved then apart one by one. I sucked in a few deep breaths at the angle I was placed in. He paused and rubbed my thighs gently waiting for me to come back to him. "Is this to much?" He asked. I wanted so desperately to say no but the pain in my knees brought fresh tears to my eyes. He read me immediately and moved my legs back. His face was full of concern rather than disappointment. "That is what I was afraid of. Ashley doesn't have you attempt many sideways motions with your legs. I've yet to see you in such a position and before the accident it was one of your favorites." He reasoned. "I assumed it caused you pain." I was shocked.

"How do you know how I liked to sleep?" I asked.

"Penny, how could you forget the night I broke in here to clean your apartment, the night that you let me stay with you when I was locked out of my apartment, and the time you stayed on my couch when that retched woman was shacking up with Howard. I have been present to witness your sleeping habits." I considered him a moment and then shrugged. His body moved back up to mine and his hands roamed my body again. I sighed contently and closed my eyes.

"Mmm. Don't start things we can't finish, Dr. Cooper." I whispered. He surprised me by whispering in my ear in a throaty voice.

"Who says I wont finish?" His lips kissed and pulled on my ear as his hand moved lower until he was in between my legs. Before I could recognize what was happening his long fingers pushed into me and I screamed out in shock and pleasure. I gasped as he rubbed my walls with each stroke and the right amount of pressure on just the right spots. My eyes clenched shut as his pace quickened. After only a few short minutes of this tantalizing teasing accompanied with his thoroughness I began to feel the welcoming warmth of my impending orgasm. I began to gasp for breath and Sheldon, having a working knowledge of everything in the universe, took that as a cue to run a digit over engorged nerves. My body was suddenly consumed by ecstasy and I cried out to the deity Sheldon used to ridicule me about crying to when I was with Leonard. My walls clutched tightly to his fingers as I road out then intense pleasure.

As I came back down from my high I began to laugh. Sheldon looked at me with a puzzled expression. "What is so funny?" I calmed myself and ran a hand down his arm.

"There is no way you've never done this before." I looked up at him expectantly.

"I've never said I never done this before. Just because I suppressed my emotional feelings for the majority of my life doesn't mean I never engaged in c... sex. My brother thought it would be funny one summer to get me drunk. I don't remember much of that night but I remember the act and I remembered everything I had read on the subject. The right angle of penetration that causes the most pleasure, the bundle of nerves that will almost always trigger an orgasm," he flicked his finger over my still throbbing nub and I gasped. "as well as which positions prolong and quicken the ending." He explained. I starred at him for a long moment before I began to feel overwhelmingly tired. Before I could fall asleep I tried to move to him to repay him. He stopped me. "Not tonight. Get some sleep." He whispered and stood up from the bed to wash up. I turned my head to his back and called to him.

"Sheldon, I'm sorry." He stopped and turned to me. "I didn't want to die and I'm glad I didn't." I confessed. "At the time..." I yawned and he held up his hands.

"Not tonight." He repeated and walked out of the room. I smiled and turned my head and began to drift off to sleep with dreams filled with those amazingly skilled hands. The last thing I thought was what could other parts of his body do if his hands were that good.

What indeed.

**AN: Take my word for it, sex with two broken legs is hard. Lets just leave it at that. XD Hope you guys enjoyed it. It was hard to write because the emotional wounds for me still haven't completely healed. Everything I wrote Penny saying are things I have said myself. Everything she experienced, I experienced. It was tough. **

**Oh and don't worry, Sheldon will get his soon ;-) **


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